I'm thinking about releasing a race report sometime next week, so I figure that I'd vett it through here first. I think this report needs more humor and a bit more insults. I don't think that I've insulted enough women in this report. Depends on what's on the billable calendar, I may have to modify it some more. The next version will be sent out to the master Vertical Bike ride distro group.
EDIT
Post has been removed. It was only a rough draft. I will put the real one on here tomorrow for all to read.
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Thursday, November 3, 2011
The Last DSG Newsletter
===============================
The Last DSG Newsletter
http://www.dsgrunning.com/
November 02, 2011
===============================
Hello All,
Please send me your finish time and/or race reports if you haven't done so. Below are URLs to the race reports and race reports that I have received so far. Only Jose have sent me the a full report. The rest are short recaps of some of the DSG's experience on race day. You can send me either. Brittnay and Pam have promised me race reports ;) I'll post those as soon as I get them. Remember that the results can be from any marathons that you've done this season and not just the MCM.
http://www.dsgrunning.com/raceresults.htm
http://www.dsgrunning.com/racereports.htm
I think that no matter how well or not so well that you did, it's cool to have it documented so that you can revisit it in future years. It's nice to see how you've improved or not improved versus some of the folks that you run with every week. It also gives future runners a snapshot of who we are as a group.
I know that a lot of first timers are intimidated by the idea of joining a marathon running group because they think that everyone is a running Nazi. Our results and race report puts a human element to it. They show that we are just normal weekend warriors out there for a little fun.
===================
FINISH LINE VIDEOS
===================
For those of you who can't get enough of yourselves and want to relive the moment, there is a video replay of literally EVERYONE who crossed the finish line. Best of all, it's free!! See the below link. If you have family members or friends who couldn't be there to cheer you on, send them the link. If you have an ex, you can accidentally cc that person in the email. To all of the first timers in our group, feel free to accidentally hit the send button to send it to everyone on your corporate network. The IT guys always love it when that happens :)
The finishing time is with respect to the clock time not your chip time. Enjoy!
http://www.csnwashington.com/sportsnetWashington/search/search?q=mcm
=============================
DSG POST SEASON GET TOGETHER
=============================
I'm tentatively looking at Saturday 1/21/2012 as our DSG post season get together. Let me know if that date is bad for you. I want to maximize participation. In 10 days, I'll be headed toward SE Asia to look for my mail order bride. When I return in December, I will send out the invite. Here's your chance to provide input on the date, so please do so :)
=========
FAREWELL
=========
Well, this is where our journey of a thousand miles together ends. I want to thank everyone for coming out this year. Whether you are a first timer or a veteran, I hoped that you've had a wonderful journey. If you were around during the time of the divorce, you knew how chaotic it was. This is our 5th year of DSG. Hopefully you got more than your $5's worth this year because the $5 group fee is non-refundable :)
I'm not sure if I would be doing this if it hadn't been for DSG. It really sucks to train the long stuff by yourself all the time. I know that I wouldn't even consider doing triathlons hadn't Doug pulled me into that direction.
I'm constantly amazed that not only have we lasted this long but that we continue to bring in new people every year. We're not a shoes store or an organized group like the Road Runners. We're just a bunch of misfits who just happens to stumble upon each other by chance or word of mouth. To be able to still thrive is still pretty cool. It's neat to be a little bit different and anti-establishment.
It warms my heart greately to know that you all think well enough of our group to not only return week after week but to also go out on your own to bring in your friends and co-workers. I want to thanks everyone for not only being there, but to allow me to be in your lives and share some of your personal stories and accomplishments.
To our first timers, you all have performed remarkably well during your marathons. You have taken on this unknown entity and you have conquered it. The hardest step is always that first step when you decide to take on the challenge. Everything else is pure mechanical. The first marathon that I ran was 4:43. It has taken me 10 years to get to 3:14 and a BQ. I've yet to master it. If you continue in this marathon lifestyle, there is nothing but growth and goodness in front of you.
For some of you, I will never see again so this is our final farewell. For others, our paths will cross many times in the off season. Whatever the case may be, I wish you the greatest of life in your future endeavors. Below is my final farewell message to you all.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wVyggTKDcOE
Take care my friends,
Tuan
The Last DSG Newsletter
http://www.dsgrunning.com/
November 02, 2011
===============================
Hello All,
Please send me your finish time and/or race reports if you haven't done so. Below are URLs to the race reports and race reports that I have received so far. Only Jose have sent me the a full report. The rest are short recaps of some of the DSG's experience on race day. You can send me either. Brittnay and Pam have promised me race reports ;) I'll post those as soon as I get them. Remember that the results can be from any marathons that you've done this season and not just the MCM.
http://www.dsgrunning.com/raceresults.htm
http://www.dsgrunning.com/racereports.htm
I think that no matter how well or not so well that you did, it's cool to have it documented so that you can revisit it in future years. It's nice to see how you've improved or not improved versus some of the folks that you run with every week. It also gives future runners a snapshot of who we are as a group.
I know that a lot of first timers are intimidated by the idea of joining a marathon running group because they think that everyone is a running Nazi. Our results and race report puts a human element to it. They show that we are just normal weekend warriors out there for a little fun.
===================
FINISH LINE VIDEOS
===================
For those of you who can't get enough of yourselves and want to relive the moment, there is a video replay of literally EVERYONE who crossed the finish line. Best of all, it's free!! See the below link. If you have family members or friends who couldn't be there to cheer you on, send them the link. If you have an ex, you can accidentally cc that person in the email. To all of the first timers in our group, feel free to accidentally hit the send button to send it to everyone on your corporate network. The IT guys always love it when that happens :)
The finishing time is with respect to the clock time not your chip time. Enjoy!
http://www.csnwashington.com/sportsnetWashington/search/search?q=mcm
=============================
DSG POST SEASON GET TOGETHER
=============================
I'm tentatively looking at Saturday 1/21/2012 as our DSG post season get together. Let me know if that date is bad for you. I want to maximize participation. In 10 days, I'll be headed toward SE Asia to look for my mail order bride. When I return in December, I will send out the invite. Here's your chance to provide input on the date, so please do so :)
=========
FAREWELL
=========
Well, this is where our journey of a thousand miles together ends. I want to thank everyone for coming out this year. Whether you are a first timer or a veteran, I hoped that you've had a wonderful journey. If you were around during the time of the divorce, you knew how chaotic it was. This is our 5th year of DSG. Hopefully you got more than your $5's worth this year because the $5 group fee is non-refundable :)
I'm not sure if I would be doing this if it hadn't been for DSG. It really sucks to train the long stuff by yourself all the time. I know that I wouldn't even consider doing triathlons hadn't Doug pulled me into that direction.
I'm constantly amazed that not only have we lasted this long but that we continue to bring in new people every year. We're not a shoes store or an organized group like the Road Runners. We're just a bunch of misfits who just happens to stumble upon each other by chance or word of mouth. To be able to still thrive is still pretty cool. It's neat to be a little bit different and anti-establishment.
It warms my heart greately to know that you all think well enough of our group to not only return week after week but to also go out on your own to bring in your friends and co-workers. I want to thanks everyone for not only being there, but to allow me to be in your lives and share some of your personal stories and accomplishments.
To our first timers, you all have performed remarkably well during your marathons. You have taken on this unknown entity and you have conquered it. The hardest step is always that first step when you decide to take on the challenge. Everything else is pure mechanical. The first marathon that I ran was 4:43. It has taken me 10 years to get to 3:14 and a BQ. I've yet to master it. If you continue in this marathon lifestyle, there is nothing but growth and goodness in front of you.
For some of you, I will never see again so this is our final farewell. For others, our paths will cross many times in the off season. Whatever the case may be, I wish you the greatest of life in your future endeavors. Below is my final farewell message to you all.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wVyggTKDcOE
Take care my friends,
Tuan
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Vertical Nation Rejoice!!
Vertical Nation Rejoice!!!
Vietnamese #1 has a new title to his name. Instead of riding my moto scooter to Saigon like the rest of the Vietnamese, I chose to ride on top of a water buffalo's ass. A three hour tour became a 10 year journey, but I have arrived.
Ten years ago I ran my first marathon ... 4:43. It took me another 3 marathons to crack the 4 hour barrier. One less clavicle and 3 less testicles later, I have a BQ next to my name! ... 3:14:31. Women may think that I'm assexual, but I think they don't understand Vietnamese.
What does this all mean? I don't know!!! I've never been here before. If I had any testicles left, it would have froze by now.
ok ... as you were. Back to your pathetic little lives! You've just lost 20 seconds of your lives reading this and you will never get it back.
Tuan
Vietnamese #1 has a new title to his name. Instead of riding my moto scooter to Saigon like the rest of the Vietnamese, I chose to ride on top of a water buffalo's ass. A three hour tour became a 10 year journey, but I have arrived.
Ten years ago I ran my first marathon ... 4:43. It took me another 3 marathons to crack the 4 hour barrier. One less clavicle and 3 less testicles later, I have a BQ next to my name! ... 3:14:31. Women may think that I'm assexual, but I think they don't understand Vietnamese.
What does this all mean? I don't know!!! I've never been here before. If I had any testicles left, it would have froze by now.
ok ... as you were. Back to your pathetic little lives! You've just lost 20 seconds of your lives reading this and you will never get it back.
Tuan
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
DSG Newsletter #8
====================================
DSG Newsletter #8
http://www.dsgrunning.com/
July 19, 2011
====================================
Hello 14 mile finishers,
I want to send the weekly newsletter out a bit earlier than normal this week. I want to spend my billable hours Wednesday searching for good places to eat in Frankfurt.
Congrats to all of our first timers who completed the longest run of their lives this past Saturday. I was glad to see that no one took the DSG express taxi back to base. These 14 milers that we run throughout the season will get a lot easier as the season progresses. Give yourselves a little pat in the back. Not many on the planet can do you what you just did. I went sterile after I ran my first 14 miler back in the days. I'm still recovering. Hopefully you guys didn't meet the same fate. If you did, drink more mango juice.
I won't be at the run this weekend. Please don't let that fact prevents you from coming to the marina. There will be plenty of people there to run. Just show up and do your thing. If you don't know where you are going, follow someone. Jerry says that he will be there to take command. Jerry also says a lot of stuff.
=============
WATER STATION
=============
This week is the Vietnamese 12 miler ... 11.75 miles. To our first timers, the route will take you on a packed dirt path. Make sure that you get down to the asphalt path that is parallel to the dirt path. You won't miss it. Just run on the dirt path and eventually it will provide you will several locations where you can go down on the asphalt path. The asphalt path is where mile marker 7.5 is located. It will be on your left hand side at about 3/4 mile pass the boat house. There will be no water station this week since I'll be in Germany.
It's going to hot for the next week or so. I want to remind everyone to hydrate properly for all runs, including the short ones at home. Make sure that you don't overdo it though. To all of the newbies out there, there is a condition called hyponatremia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hyponatremia) if you drink too much water. The best way to prevent this is drink a sports drink instead of water. If you do drink water, just do it until your urine is a light yellow or clear.
The other thing that I want to mention is the danger of taking NSAIDs/Ibuprofen during the training runs. It may give you temporary relief, but take caution when using it for endurance sports. Studies have cautioned that the use of NSAIDs during ultra distance exercise, such as an marathons, is associated with an increased risk of exertional hyponatremia. Researchers believe that this effect is likely due to altered renal (kidney) function. The issues related to altered kidney function in athletes are not hard to imagine. Poor fluid transport and restriction can lead to dehydration, hyponatremia and at the extreme, kidney failure.
==============
DSG NIGHT OUT
==============
REMINDER: Our DSG night out is Saturday Aug 13. We are going to the Improv. Below is the link to the show that we are seeing. It's the 8:00 PM show. Please come out if you can. We'll gather, socialize, eat, watch the show, and do something together afterward for those who want to extend the evening. The last time that we did this, the show sold out so please book now or you will be left without tickets. It's a Saturday night show so it will sell out. Don't wait. Book now!!
This is a great opportunity for us to get to know each other outside of the marina. It will also give us a good mid-season break and do something fun together. Many of us will be driving there so we can give rides to whomever needs one. Please feel free to bring along a friend, family, or significant other. Drop me an email to tell me if you are coming so that I know who and how many to expect.
http://www.symfonee.com/Improv/dc/comedians/Bio.aspx?Uid=ef3405d6-d156-4c8c-9c26-d9d2b4f465ea
================
IRONMAN GERMANY
================
I'm leaving for Frankfurt today. I may come back with an Ironman finisher's medal or I may come back with a German mail-order bride. I don't know, but we will let fate decide. If you want to follow me, my bib number is 2091. I'm sure that DSG folks will post my splits on my Facebook wall throughout the day. If you are following me, please post the splits there so that other DSG folks can see it. If you are not my Facebook friend, add me now :) The race starts at 2:00 AM DC time.
The weather calls for rain the day before the race, rain the day of the race, and rain the day after the race. This will make peeing on German soil a lot less stressful when I'm on the bike. Why stop by a porta-john when the gods are giving you a helping hand?
My goal for the race is not act like a deer in a headlight when they start molesting me during the swim. You're damn right that I'll be rocking in a chastity belt during the swim. You can never be too safe these days.
In all seriousness, I didn't sacrifice three of my favorite testicles during long bike training rides this season to be a tourist in Germany. Rain or no rain, I plan to go there and lay down a PR ... or lie and say that I got a PR. It is the Vietnamese way after all.
If you want to see what it's like to be in Frankfurt and do Ironman Germany, check out the below YouTube video. It will be 9:30 minutes of your life that you will never get back. The video is from the 2010 race..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i8wOeoaUGX0
Not a liar, just an artist with the truth,
Tuan
DSG Newsletter #8
http://www.dsgrunning.com/
July 19, 2011
====================================
Hello 14 mile finishers,
I want to send the weekly newsletter out a bit earlier than normal this week. I want to spend my billable hours Wednesday searching for good places to eat in Frankfurt.
Congrats to all of our first timers who completed the longest run of their lives this past Saturday. I was glad to see that no one took the DSG express taxi back to base. These 14 milers that we run throughout the season will get a lot easier as the season progresses. Give yourselves a little pat in the back. Not many on the planet can do you what you just did. I went sterile after I ran my first 14 miler back in the days. I'm still recovering. Hopefully you guys didn't meet the same fate. If you did, drink more mango juice.
I won't be at the run this weekend. Please don't let that fact prevents you from coming to the marina. There will be plenty of people there to run. Just show up and do your thing. If you don't know where you are going, follow someone. Jerry says that he will be there to take command. Jerry also says a lot of stuff.
=============
WATER STATION
=============
This week is the Vietnamese 12 miler ... 11.75 miles. To our first timers, the route will take you on a packed dirt path. Make sure that you get down to the asphalt path that is parallel to the dirt path. You won't miss it. Just run on the dirt path and eventually it will provide you will several locations where you can go down on the asphalt path. The asphalt path is where mile marker 7.5 is located. It will be on your left hand side at about 3/4 mile pass the boat house. There will be no water station this week since I'll be in Germany.
It's going to hot for the next week or so. I want to remind everyone to hydrate properly for all runs, including the short ones at home. Make sure that you don't overdo it though. To all of the newbies out there, there is a condition called hyponatremia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hyponatremia) if you drink too much water. The best way to prevent this is drink a sports drink instead of water. If you do drink water, just do it until your urine is a light yellow or clear.
The other thing that I want to mention is the danger of taking NSAIDs/Ibuprofen during the training runs. It may give you temporary relief, but take caution when using it for endurance sports. Studies have cautioned that the use of NSAIDs during ultra distance exercise, such as an marathons, is associated with an increased risk of exertional hyponatremia. Researchers believe that this effect is likely due to altered renal (kidney) function. The issues related to altered kidney function in athletes are not hard to imagine. Poor fluid transport and restriction can lead to dehydration, hyponatremia and at the extreme, kidney failure.
==============
DSG NIGHT OUT
==============
REMINDER: Our DSG night out is Saturday Aug 13. We are going to the Improv. Below is the link to the show that we are seeing. It's the 8:00 PM show. Please come out if you can. We'll gather, socialize, eat, watch the show, and do something together afterward for those who want to extend the evening. The last time that we did this, the show sold out so please book now or you will be left without tickets. It's a Saturday night show so it will sell out. Don't wait. Book now!!
This is a great opportunity for us to get to know each other outside of the marina. It will also give us a good mid-season break and do something fun together. Many of us will be driving there so we can give rides to whomever needs one. Please feel free to bring along a friend, family, or significant other. Drop me an email to tell me if you are coming so that I know who and how many to expect.
http://www.symfonee.com/Improv/dc/comedians/Bio.aspx?Uid=ef3405d6-d156-4c8c-9c26-d9d2b4f465ea
================
IRONMAN GERMANY
================
I'm leaving for Frankfurt today. I may come back with an Ironman finisher's medal or I may come back with a German mail-order bride. I don't know, but we will let fate decide. If you want to follow me, my bib number is 2091. I'm sure that DSG folks will post my splits on my Facebook wall throughout the day. If you are following me, please post the splits there so that other DSG folks can see it. If you are not my Facebook friend, add me now :) The race starts at 2:00 AM DC time.
The weather calls for rain the day before the race, rain the day of the race, and rain the day after the race. This will make peeing on German soil a lot less stressful when I'm on the bike. Why stop by a porta-john when the gods are giving you a helping hand?
My goal for the race is not act like a deer in a headlight when they start molesting me during the swim. You're damn right that I'll be rocking in a chastity belt during the swim. You can never be too safe these days.
In all seriousness, I didn't sacrifice three of my favorite testicles during long bike training rides this season to be a tourist in Germany. Rain or no rain, I plan to go there and lay down a PR ... or lie and say that I got a PR. It is the Vietnamese way after all.
If you want to see what it's like to be in Frankfurt and do Ironman Germany, check out the below YouTube video. It will be 9:30 minutes of your life that you will never get back. The video is from the 2010 race..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i8wOeoaUGX0
Not a liar, just an artist with the truth,
Tuan
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Week 18: Sunday Bike Ride with the Vertical Swimmer
===========================================
SUNDAY BIKE RIDE WITH THE VERTICAL SWIMMER
Star Date: Week 18
===========================================
Hello Children of Satan,
Do you know what's better than reading this blog? Reading it while on the company's dime. Unfortunately for you all this week is the last week that you'll be able to engage in this fireable offense. Starting next week you will need to find another creative outlet to cheat your company on the billable hours front.
Some of you will return back to the rice paddies and brag about this once in a lifetime opportunity to hang with the Freshest Prince of Saigon. You will tell them how much your lives have been enriched for the experience. You will tell them how cool it was to rub elbows with royalty, but they won't believe you. They'll just judge you and quote an old Vietnamese adage to you ... "he who sniff a water buffalo's ass is stupid." You'll just simply reply, "you must have mistaken me for my cousin Quang."
===============
SPECIAL THANKS
===============
Special thanks to Kevin D'Amanda for once again pulling Vertical Nation for the entire ride last Sunday. That's about the 15th time this summer that he has pulled the group for pretty much the entire ride. The man is just a beast on the bike ... and his 2:5x marathon time ain't too shabby either.
==================
CUE SHEET
==================
We are going old school Vietnamese this week by not posting the cue sheet. We will ride with the wind and let fate takes us where it will take us ... assuming of course fate takes us either to the BP gas station or the T. If fate takes us elsewhere then fate is either wrong or is a chick or both. As we all know, women and sometimes fate can't be trusted. I would tell this straight up to a woman, but my desire to be bitch slap isn't as strong as their desires to bitch slap me.
===========
LAST RIDE
===========
In all seriousness, this week's ride is the last ride that I will support with newsletters, emails, and cue sheets. After this week, it's every man and woman for himself/herself. My IM is the following week. I will still head out on the Sunday ride at the same time and location occasionally for the rest of the summer. I won't be as diligent. I'll be switching to standalone marathon mode after my IM. I'll make the decision on whether to go riding on Sunday ... on Sunday when I wake up.
If you want to continue the ride or find folks to ride with, just post it on the Sunday Bike Ride with the Vertical Swimmer thread in the DCTri forum. There are still plenty of folks left who are training for IMs and HIMs. You'll won't be alone.
I may still update this blog on a weekly basis with the stuff that I write for my running club, DSG. It's the same flavor but more geared toward running than biking. Or, I may not update this on a weekly basis. Only the 20 followers of this blog will be able to tell :)
==========
2012 IM
==========
I'm thinking of either doing IM Germany - Frankfurt again or perhaps Challenge Copenhagen. I'm also open to other Euro IMs. If you are thinking of doing one over there, drop me a note and perhaps and I can be convinced to do the one that you are doing. You do an IM with me, you are guaranteed to have the Sunday bike ride throughout your training :)
============================
SILVER SPRING EXPRESS TRAIN
============================
The Silver Spring Express Train will be back to its normal 6:25 AM departure. This is the last week that we will entertain the Squirrel Nation of Rock Creek with our presence. It's sad, but it's time to move into something more delicious ... like deer.
===================
LAST BUT NOT LEAST
===================
I spent a couple of hours yesterday writing the below poem just for you all as a farewell message. It's been a pleasure riding with many of you this year. Some of you will miss pulling me, but there is always next year.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I am a dreamer and when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
Man, that's good shit I just wrote.
See you on the road,
Tuan
SUNDAY BIKE RIDE WITH THE VERTICAL SWIMMER
Star Date: Week 18
===========================================
Hello Children of Satan,
Do you know what's better than reading this blog? Reading it while on the company's dime. Unfortunately for you all this week is the last week that you'll be able to engage in this fireable offense. Starting next week you will need to find another creative outlet to cheat your company on the billable hours front.
Some of you will return back to the rice paddies and brag about this once in a lifetime opportunity to hang with the Freshest Prince of Saigon. You will tell them how much your lives have been enriched for the experience. You will tell them how cool it was to rub elbows with royalty, but they won't believe you. They'll just judge you and quote an old Vietnamese adage to you ... "he who sniff a water buffalo's ass is stupid." You'll just simply reply, "you must have mistaken me for my cousin Quang."
===============
SPECIAL THANKS
===============
Special thanks to Kevin D'Amanda for once again pulling Vertical Nation for the entire ride last Sunday. That's about the 15th time this summer that he has pulled the group for pretty much the entire ride. The man is just a beast on the bike ... and his 2:5x marathon time ain't too shabby either.
==================
CUE SHEET
==================
We are going old school Vietnamese this week by not posting the cue sheet. We will ride with the wind and let fate takes us where it will take us ... assuming of course fate takes us either to the BP gas station or the T. If fate takes us elsewhere then fate is either wrong or is a chick or both. As we all know, women and sometimes fate can't be trusted. I would tell this straight up to a woman, but my desire to be bitch slap isn't as strong as their desires to bitch slap me.
===========
LAST RIDE
===========
In all seriousness, this week's ride is the last ride that I will support with newsletters, emails, and cue sheets. After this week, it's every man and woman for himself/herself. My IM is the following week. I will still head out on the Sunday ride at the same time and location occasionally for the rest of the summer. I won't be as diligent. I'll be switching to standalone marathon mode after my IM. I'll make the decision on whether to go riding on Sunday ... on Sunday when I wake up.
If you want to continue the ride or find folks to ride with, just post it on the Sunday Bike Ride with the Vertical Swimmer thread in the DCTri forum. There are still plenty of folks left who are training for IMs and HIMs. You'll won't be alone.
I may still update this blog on a weekly basis with the stuff that I write for my running club, DSG. It's the same flavor but more geared toward running than biking. Or, I may not update this on a weekly basis. Only the 20 followers of this blog will be able to tell :)
==========
2012 IM
==========
I'm thinking of either doing IM Germany - Frankfurt again or perhaps Challenge Copenhagen. I'm also open to other Euro IMs. If you are thinking of doing one over there, drop me a note and perhaps and I can be convinced to do the one that you are doing. You do an IM with me, you are guaranteed to have the Sunday bike ride throughout your training :)
============================
SILVER SPRING EXPRESS TRAIN
============================
The Silver Spring Express Train will be back to its normal 6:25 AM departure. This is the last week that we will entertain the Squirrel Nation of Rock Creek with our presence. It's sad, but it's time to move into something more delicious ... like deer.
===================
LAST BUT NOT LEAST
===================
I spent a couple of hours yesterday writing the below poem just for you all as a farewell message. It's been a pleasure riding with many of you this year. Some of you will miss pulling me, but there is always next year.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I am a dreamer and when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
Man, that's good shit I just wrote.
See you on the road,
Tuan
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Week 17: Sunday Bike Ride with the Vertical Swimmer
===========================================
SUNDAY BIKE RIDE WITH THE VERTICAL SWIMMER
Star Date: Week 17
===========================================
Hello Born Again Virgins for the umpteen times,
Ironman Vietnam is now over. Due to the lack of port a-johns in Gtown, the organizer of the event had to make some last minute adjustments to the run course. Fortunately for us, the Apple Store was exactly 13.1 meters from T2. iPhone, iPod, iMac? Pss, iPeed right outside of Steve Jobs' place of business. It's ok though. We all know that Mac users are nothing but a bunch of socialists anyway. Get a hair cut and shower for more than once a week you hippy freaks!
Special shoutout to Josh Glazer, Carlos Vegh, and Courtney Fulton for protecting my flank and keeping me company during the ride. Special thanks to Josh for pulling for the last 25 miles or so.
==============================
TEACHING AN OLD DOG NEW TRICKS
==============================
From the file of you can teach an old dog new tricks. I learned from Ironman Vietnam what a liberating experience it is to do an Iron distance bike ride without having to pee on your bike. It has open my eyes to a world that I had never experienced before. I'm seriously considering using that methodology during my next IM. I will need a few more practice rides before I can confidently put that into my race plan.
=========
TAPERING
=========
I'm now officially tapering for my race. In honor of this, I've written the below original poem dedicated to my tapering.
"I've been alone with you inside my mind
And in my dreams I've kissed your lips a thousand times
I sometimes see you pass outside my door
TAPER ... Hellooo, is it me you're looking for?
let me start by saying, I LOVE YOU"
Damn! That's some good shit that I just wrote during billable hours.
==================
CUE SHEET
==================
------------------
60 Miles Travilah
------------------
http://www.mapmyride.com/ride/united-states/dc/washington/926124888526131286
R Wisconsin (0.0)
L Resevoir Rd (@~0.5)
R MacArthur Blvd (@~2.1)
R Falls Rd (@~12.6)
L River Rd (@~14.7)
R Travilah Rd (@~19.8)
turn slight R to stay on Travilah at Turkey Foot intersection (@~22)
L Darnestown Rd (Rte 28) (@~25.2)
L Seneca Rd (Rte 112) (@~30.8)
becomes River Rd (@~33.6)
stay on River Rd. until the Partnership Rd intersection (@35)
TURN AROUND
River Rd (112)
R on 190 to stay on River Rd (@~36.5)
R Falls Rd (@~44.5)
L MacArthur Blvd (@~46.5)
L Resevoir Rd (@~57.9)
R Wisconsin (@~58.6)
Home base @59.44
============================
SILVER SPRING EXPRESS TRAIN
============================
The Silver Spring Express Train will be back to its normal 6:25 AM departure. It's only a sixty miler this week. This means that I will have more time on my hands to scare the living shit out of some squirrel.
iPeed ... 'nough said.
Tuan
SUNDAY BIKE RIDE WITH THE VERTICAL SWIMMER
Star Date: Week 17
===========================================
Hello Born Again Virgins for the umpteen times,
Ironman Vietnam is now over. Due to the lack of port a-johns in Gtown, the organizer of the event had to make some last minute adjustments to the run course. Fortunately for us, the Apple Store was exactly 13.1 meters from T2. iPhone, iPod, iMac? Pss, iPeed right outside of Steve Jobs' place of business. It's ok though. We all know that Mac users are nothing but a bunch of socialists anyway. Get a hair cut and shower for more than once a week you hippy freaks!
Special shoutout to Josh Glazer, Carlos Vegh, and Courtney Fulton for protecting my flank and keeping me company during the ride. Special thanks to Josh for pulling for the last 25 miles or so.
==============================
TEACHING AN OLD DOG NEW TRICKS
==============================
From the file of you can teach an old dog new tricks. I learned from Ironman Vietnam what a liberating experience it is to do an Iron distance bike ride without having to pee on your bike. It has open my eyes to a world that I had never experienced before. I'm seriously considering using that methodology during my next IM. I will need a few more practice rides before I can confidently put that into my race plan.
=========
TAPERING
=========
I'm now officially tapering for my race. In honor of this, I've written the below original poem dedicated to my tapering.
"I've been alone with you inside my mind
And in my dreams I've kissed your lips a thousand times
I sometimes see you pass outside my door
TAPER ... Hellooo, is it me you're looking for?
let me start by saying, I LOVE YOU"
Damn! That's some good shit that I just wrote during billable hours.
==================
CUE SHEET
==================
------------------
60 Miles Travilah
------------------
http://www.mapmyride.com/ride/united-states/dc/washington/926124888526131286
R Wisconsin (0.0)
L Resevoir Rd (@~0.5)
R MacArthur Blvd (@~2.1)
R Falls Rd (@~12.6)
L River Rd (@~14.7)
R Travilah Rd (@~19.8)
turn slight R to stay on Travilah at Turkey Foot intersection (@~22)
L Darnestown Rd (Rte 28) (@~25.2)
L Seneca Rd (Rte 112) (@~30.8)
becomes River Rd (@~33.6)
stay on River Rd. until the Partnership Rd intersection (@35)
TURN AROUND
River Rd (112)
R on 190 to stay on River Rd (@~36.5)
R Falls Rd (@~44.5)
L MacArthur Blvd (@~46.5)
L Resevoir Rd (@~57.9)
R Wisconsin (@~58.6)
Home base @59.44
============================
SILVER SPRING EXPRESS TRAIN
============================
The Silver Spring Express Train will be back to its normal 6:25 AM departure. It's only a sixty miler this week. This means that I will have more time on my hands to scare the living shit out of some squirrel.
iPeed ... 'nough said.
Tuan
Sunday, July 3, 2011
CANCELED: Sunday bike ride
Due to thunder and rain, the ride is canceled today. Since it's July 4th on Monday, we'll ride do the same ride if you are interested. I'll be out there at 7:00 AM. Please drop me an email if you want to do the same ride Monday.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Week 16: Sunday Bike Ride with the Vertical Swimmer
===========================================
SUNDAY BIKE RIDE WITH THE VERTICAL SWIMMER
Star Date: Week 16
===========================================
Hello Participants of the third annual Ironman Vietnam,
It is the moment that we've been waiting for. It's Ironman Vietnam weekend. Get your V-dot tattoo design ready because after this Sunday, you've all earned the right to carry that V-dot tattoo on your butt cheeks. I know that this may be a bit difficult for all of the single women living in the Ballston/Clarendon/Court House area. Their asses are already filled with useless tattoos. There may not be much real-estate left, but I'm not here to judge sinners.
Anyway, for those unfamiliar with the format, Ironman Vietnam is a 0.0 mile wetsuit legal swim, followed by a 112 mile bike ride, followed by a 26.2 meter run. No crying allowed. As always, for safety reasons please wear a cup if you are a dude and a chastity belt if you are a chick. It will be a long day.
Clip time is 7:00 AM in GTown at the corner of M and Wisconsin.
===================
IM CLOTHING ADVICE
===================
I need some advice from some of the triathletes in our group. I need advice on Ironman clothing choice. I'm doing Ironman Germany this year so obviously I will be rocking in a pair of thongs on the bike and on the run. I want to respect the German culture and not stand out. I want the classic Euro tan line down my butt crack.
My question is that, have any of you tried to run and bike with a thong outside of your bike/tri shorts? I would try it during a training ride, but the Washington culture with the way that it is, won't allow it. The Americans, more specifically the American women, will mock me if I do it on their soil. They are very judgmental.
Also, anyone knows of a place that I can get one of those male sportsbra that I see Faris Al-Sultan runs with? I want to immerse myself into the Euro IM scene.
=================
CHICKED BY GOD
=================
Those of you who know me well, know that swimming is .. ummm ... let's just say I can flap my arms, kick my legs, and be perfectly aligned horizontally with the best of them, but not at the same time and definitely not at the same time in the water.
Last year when I signed up for Ironman Germany, I thought that I had been chicked by God. You see, Vietnamese #1 signed up for the race without realizing that not only was there a possibility of a non-wetsuit swim, but the 2010 race was indeed a non-wetsuit swim. Never once did it cross my mind that Germany in the middle of July might kinda sorta be hot. Well, to steal an old German saying ... "Vivra la vivra!"
I've done nothing but bitch and whine for the past year about the non-wetsuit swim like a woman who bitches and whines about how the five red shoes in front of her doesn't match the one red dress that she has ... and you know when a woman gets into that frenzy state of mind that you can't just say something innocent like "why don't you wear black? It'll make your ankle look smaller." Oh, that stare of death can kill a Cambodian water buffalo from 30 feet away.
Anyway, I just found out that past week that the water temp for the swim is 68,0 °F or as we say in the business ... WETSUIT LEGAL! I hope no one does anything stupid like pee in that lake the day before the race to increase the water temp. Like I tell all of my triathlete friends, don't be a Vietnamese hater. Save the peeing for the bike.
Man. Wow! ... so this is what it feels like to be a born again virgin.
==================
CUE SHEET
==================
We should have a handful of people going the distance this week. Let's keep the pace reasonable and contained. We'll regroup at every major turns to make sure we don't loose anyone. Please bring the cue sheet with you. 114 miles is a lot.
The cue sheet below is for 114 miles. There is a small stretch on Whites Ferry Rd at mile marker 72-ish. The cue sheet says to make a left. If we make a right and go toward the Potomac River, that out and back stretch should give us about 120 miles. I'm game if folks are. It might be nice to go out to the Potomac to take in the scenery before we head back. It will be a group decision when we get there.
http://www.mapmyride.com/routes/view/39372740
0mi Head north on Wisconsin Ave NW toward Congress Ct NW
0.56mi Turn left onto Reservoir Rd NW
2.18mi Turn left onto MacArthur Blvd
12.76mi Turn right onto Falls Rd
14.72mi Turn left onto River Rd
19.8mi Turn right onto Travilah Rd
25.1mi Turn left onto Darnestown Rd
34.07mi Turn right onto White Ground Rd
38.66mi Turn left onto MD-117 W/MD-121 N/Barnesville Rd
39.78mi Turn right onto Slidell Rd
43.46mi Turn left onto Comus Rd
Continue to follow Comus Rd
47.93mi Continue onto Mt Ephraim Rd
50.31mi Turn right onto MD-28 E/Dickerson Rd
53.98mi Turn left onto MD-28 W/Tuscarora Rd
Continue to follow MD-28 W
Turnaround at Point of Rocks near Rt 15
Head back to Dickersson on 28E (Tuscarora Rd)
62.97mi Head east on MD-28 E/Tuscarora Rd toward Chick Rd
63.42mi Turn right onto MD-28 E/Dickerson Rd
68.27mi Turn right onto Martinsburg Rd
69.57mi Turn left onto Wasche Rd
72.27mi Turn left onto Whites Ferry Rd
72.28mi Whites Ferry Rd becomes Fisher Ave
74.39mi Turn right onto W Willard Rd
78.81mi Turn right onto River Rd
81.13mi River becomes Mt Nebo Rd
82.3mi Turn left to stay on Mt Nebo Rd
82.83mi Turn right onto W Offutt Rd
84.21mi Turn right onto W Willard Rd
86.62mi Turn left onto River Rd
99.76mi Turn right onto Falls Rd
101.72mi Turn left onto MacArthur Blvd
112.42mi Continue onto Reservoir Rd NW
113.91mi Turn right onto Wisconsin Ave NW
114+ Home base
============================
SILVER SPRING EXPRESS TRAIN
============================
Due to the large mileage this Sunday, the Silver Spring Express Train will not meet at its usual spot. I will be driving down to GTown to park. My boys will be numb enough after the ride as is. There is no need to tease the Gods by adding an extra 16 miles to the ride.
You either love me or you love me more .... the choice is yours,
Tuan
SUNDAY BIKE RIDE WITH THE VERTICAL SWIMMER
Star Date: Week 16
===========================================
Hello Participants of the third annual Ironman Vietnam,
It is the moment that we've been waiting for. It's Ironman Vietnam weekend. Get your V-dot tattoo design ready because after this Sunday, you've all earned the right to carry that V-dot tattoo on your butt cheeks. I know that this may be a bit difficult for all of the single women living in the Ballston/Clarendon/Court House area. Their asses are already filled with useless tattoos. There may not be much real-estate left, but I'm not here to judge sinners.
Anyway, for those unfamiliar with the format, Ironman Vietnam is a 0.0 mile wetsuit legal swim, followed by a 112 mile bike ride, followed by a 26.2 meter run. No crying allowed. As always, for safety reasons please wear a cup if you are a dude and a chastity belt if you are a chick. It will be a long day.
Clip time is 7:00 AM in GTown at the corner of M and Wisconsin.
===================
IM CLOTHING ADVICE
===================
I need some advice from some of the triathletes in our group. I need advice on Ironman clothing choice. I'm doing Ironman Germany this year so obviously I will be rocking in a pair of thongs on the bike and on the run. I want to respect the German culture and not stand out. I want the classic Euro tan line down my butt crack.
My question is that, have any of you tried to run and bike with a thong outside of your bike/tri shorts? I would try it during a training ride, but the Washington culture with the way that it is, won't allow it. The Americans, more specifically the American women, will mock me if I do it on their soil. They are very judgmental.
Also, anyone knows of a place that I can get one of those male sportsbra that I see Faris Al-Sultan runs with? I want to immerse myself into the Euro IM scene.
=================
CHICKED BY GOD
=================
Those of you who know me well, know that swimming is .. ummm ... let's just say I can flap my arms, kick my legs, and be perfectly aligned horizontally with the best of them, but not at the same time and definitely not at the same time in the water.
Last year when I signed up for Ironman Germany, I thought that I had been chicked by God. You see, Vietnamese #1 signed up for the race without realizing that not only was there a possibility of a non-wetsuit swim, but the 2010 race was indeed a non-wetsuit swim. Never once did it cross my mind that Germany in the middle of July might kinda sorta be hot. Well, to steal an old German saying ... "Vivra la vivra!"
I've done nothing but bitch and whine for the past year about the non-wetsuit swim like a woman who bitches and whines about how the five red shoes in front of her doesn't match the one red dress that she has ... and you know when a woman gets into that frenzy state of mind that you can't just say something innocent like "why don't you wear black? It'll make your ankle look smaller." Oh, that stare of death can kill a Cambodian water buffalo from 30 feet away.
Anyway, I just found out that past week that the water temp for the swim is 68,0 °F or as we say in the business ... WETSUIT LEGAL! I hope no one does anything stupid like pee in that lake the day before the race to increase the water temp. Like I tell all of my triathlete friends, don't be a Vietnamese hater. Save the peeing for the bike.
Man. Wow! ... so this is what it feels like to be a born again virgin.
==================
CUE SHEET
==================
We should have a handful of people going the distance this week. Let's keep the pace reasonable and contained. We'll regroup at every major turns to make sure we don't loose anyone. Please bring the cue sheet with you. 114 miles is a lot.
The cue sheet below is for 114 miles. There is a small stretch on Whites Ferry Rd at mile marker 72-ish. The cue sheet says to make a left. If we make a right and go toward the Potomac River, that out and back stretch should give us about 120 miles. I'm game if folks are. It might be nice to go out to the Potomac to take in the scenery before we head back. It will be a group decision when we get there.
http://www.mapmyride.com/routes/view/39372740
0mi Head north on Wisconsin Ave NW toward Congress Ct NW
0.56mi Turn left onto Reservoir Rd NW
2.18mi Turn left onto MacArthur Blvd
12.76mi Turn right onto Falls Rd
14.72mi Turn left onto River Rd
19.8mi Turn right onto Travilah Rd
25.1mi Turn left onto Darnestown Rd
34.07mi Turn right onto White Ground Rd
38.66mi Turn left onto MD-117 W/MD-121 N/Barnesville Rd
39.78mi Turn right onto Slidell Rd
43.46mi Turn left onto Comus Rd
Continue to follow Comus Rd
47.93mi Continue onto Mt Ephraim Rd
50.31mi Turn right onto MD-28 E/Dickerson Rd
53.98mi Turn left onto MD-28 W/Tuscarora Rd
Continue to follow MD-28 W
Turnaround at Point of Rocks near Rt 15
Head back to Dickersson on 28E (Tuscarora Rd)
62.97mi Head east on MD-28 E/Tuscarora Rd toward Chick Rd
63.42mi Turn right onto MD-28 E/Dickerson Rd
68.27mi Turn right onto Martinsburg Rd
69.57mi Turn left onto Wasche Rd
72.27mi Turn left onto Whites Ferry Rd
72.28mi Whites Ferry Rd becomes Fisher Ave
74.39mi Turn right onto W Willard Rd
78.81mi Turn right onto River Rd
81.13mi River becomes Mt Nebo Rd
82.3mi Turn left to stay on Mt Nebo Rd
82.83mi Turn right onto W Offutt Rd
84.21mi Turn right onto W Willard Rd
86.62mi Turn left onto River Rd
99.76mi Turn right onto Falls Rd
101.72mi Turn left onto MacArthur Blvd
112.42mi Continue onto Reservoir Rd NW
113.91mi Turn right onto Wisconsin Ave NW
114+ Home base
============================
SILVER SPRING EXPRESS TRAIN
============================
Due to the large mileage this Sunday, the Silver Spring Express Train will not meet at its usual spot. I will be driving down to GTown to park. My boys will be numb enough after the ride as is. There is no need to tease the Gods by adding an extra 16 miles to the ride.
You either love me or you love me more .... the choice is yours,
Tuan
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Sunday Bike Ride with the Vertical Swimmer
===========================================
SUNDAY BIKE RIDE WITH THE VERTICAL SWIMMER
Star Date: Week 15
===========================================
Hello People who contracted a STD from the Potomac last Sunday,
Did you know that Bristol Palin has a memoir? It's called "Not Afraid of Life." It's very insightful ... kind of like when Miley Cyrus wrote her book to give out life advice. That's what I do during billable hours these days. I read books and memoirs from teenagers so that I can have a more happy life. That's what my life has become. When I left the re-education camp in Da Nang to come to America, this was exactly what I had in mind. It could be worse. I could be like one of yous.
I just wished that there were something that I could do at work instead of reading memoirs from people that I want to bitch slap. Facebooking can only take you so far. Maybe I should knit during billable hours. What do you folks do while at work?
==================
CUE SHEET
==================
Clip time is still at 7:00 AM. I feel that I need to state this every week since we have a lot of people reading this who went to a SEC school.
======================================
80 Miler - Darnstown Rail Road Tracks
======================================
http://www.mapmyride.com/route/us/dc/washington/860124774813552902
R Wisconsin Ave (@~0.0)
L Reservoir Rd (@~1.5)
R MacArthur Blvd (@~2.7)
R Falls Rd (@~14.6)
L River Rd (@~16.6)
R Travilah Rd (@~21.7)
L Turkey Foot Rd (@~23.9)
at Turkey Foot and Jones, straight on Jones (@~25)
L Darnestown Rd (Rte 28) (@~26.6)
R Dickerson Rd (@~39.2)
** turn around at the train tracks or gas station on your right hand side. They are about 100 yards apart(@~40.5). The train tracks are above you in the form of a bridge (i.e., not at street level)
Dickerson Rd
L Darnestown Rd (@~41.5)
R Beallsville Rd (Rte 109) (@~44)
R Fisher
quick L W.Willard Rd (@~46.4)
L River Rd (@~50.9)
at Seneca intersection, R to stay on River (Rte 190) (@~56)
R Falls Rd (@~64.1)
L MacArthur Blvd (@~66.1)
L Reservoir Rd (@~77.5)
R Wisconsin Ave (@~78.4)
Home Base @80-ish
REST STOPS
------------
For the folks in my pace group and recommended for other pace groups:
Stop #1: Gas station at mile 15
Stop #2: Gas station at turnaround point (mile 40-ish)
Stop #3: Gas station #1 above mile (64-ish)
Stop #4: Base camp
More stops if requested along the way.
============================
SILVER SPRING EXPRESS TRAIN
============================
The Silver Spring express train will meet 6:20 AM at Picnic Area #10. We'll clip at 6:25 AM.
What do you call a triathlete squirrel? A chipmunk. That's right ... the war with the Squirrel Nation of Rock Creek has gone verbal.
Not a cat lady,
Tuan
SUNDAY BIKE RIDE WITH THE VERTICAL SWIMMER
Star Date: Week 15
===========================================
Hello People who contracted a STD from the Potomac last Sunday,
Did you know that Bristol Palin has a memoir? It's called "Not Afraid of Life." It's very insightful ... kind of like when Miley Cyrus wrote her book to give out life advice. That's what I do during billable hours these days. I read books and memoirs from teenagers so that I can have a more happy life. That's what my life has become. When I left the re-education camp in Da Nang to come to America, this was exactly what I had in mind. It could be worse. I could be like one of yous.
I just wished that there were something that I could do at work instead of reading memoirs from people that I want to bitch slap. Facebooking can only take you so far. Maybe I should knit during billable hours. What do you folks do while at work?
==================
CUE SHEET
==================
Clip time is still at 7:00 AM. I feel that I need to state this every week since we have a lot of people reading this who went to a SEC school.
======================================
80 Miler - Darnstown Rail Road Tracks
======================================
http://www.mapmyride.com/route/us/dc/washington/860124774813552902
R Wisconsin Ave (@~0.0)
L Reservoir Rd (@~1.5)
R MacArthur Blvd (@~2.7)
R Falls Rd (@~14.6)
L River Rd (@~16.6)
R Travilah Rd (@~21.7)
L Turkey Foot Rd (@~23.9)
at Turkey Foot and Jones, straight on Jones (@~25)
L Darnestown Rd (Rte 28) (@~26.6)
R Dickerson Rd (@~39.2)
** turn around at the train tracks or gas station on your right hand side. They are about 100 yards apart(@~40.5). The train tracks are above you in the form of a bridge (i.e., not at street level)
Dickerson Rd
L Darnestown Rd (@~41.5)
R Beallsville Rd (Rte 109) (@~44)
R Fisher
quick L W.Willard Rd (@~46.4)
L River Rd (@~50.9)
at Seneca intersection, R to stay on River (Rte 190) (@~56)
R Falls Rd (@~64.1)
L MacArthur Blvd (@~66.1)
L Reservoir Rd (@~77.5)
R Wisconsin Ave (@~78.4)
Home Base @80-ish
REST STOPS
------------
For the folks in my pace group and recommended for other pace groups:
Stop #1: Gas station at mile 15
Stop #2: Gas station at turnaround point (mile 40-ish)
Stop #3: Gas station #1 above mile (64-ish)
Stop #4: Base camp
More stops if requested along the way.
============================
SILVER SPRING EXPRESS TRAIN
============================
The Silver Spring express train will meet 6:20 AM at Picnic Area #10. We'll clip at 6:25 AM.
What do you call a triathlete squirrel? A chipmunk. That's right ... the war with the Squirrel Nation of Rock Creek has gone verbal.
Not a cat lady,
Tuan
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Week 14: Sunday Bike Ride with the Vertical Swimmer
===========================================
SUNDAY BIKE RIDE WITH THE VERTICAL SWIMMER
Star Date: Week 14
===========================================
Hello People who think the Potomac is clean enough to swim in,
*** As a reminder ... we clip at 7:00 AM this week. We will clip at 7:00 AM for the rest of the season ***
To those who are doing the DC Triathlon this weekend, I would like to give you one bit of advice ... dip yourselves in vinegar before, during, and after the swim. To those who thinks that the DC Triathlon should revert to a wave start because you miss the body contact ... swim to the turnaround buoy, turnaround, and swim back to the start ramp. That should give you plenty of action.
==================
LAST WEEK'S RIDE
==================
This is a ride report from our little excursion to Skyline Drive last weekend. It's a very beautiful and scenic ride. You all should head out there and try it out sometime. The ride went something like this: We went up a hill, then another hill, then another hill, then we hit little incline, then a little longer incline, then a bigger incline, then the incline stopped and we hit another hill.
The ride back to base was quite spectacular. The speed and the turns were a bit nerve wrecking. It was hang onto your aerobars and hope that you had clean underwear on when the ambulance picks you up. I was just glad that some dumbass squirrel didn't try to make a political statement by trying to cross the road when we were flying down.
================
IRONMAN VIETNAM
================
I know that a bunch of peeps are doing IMLP. I'm planning to have Ironman Vietnam be on July 3rd, which is 3 weeks from IMLP. I'm open to suggestions. As of right now, the following are on the table:
1. 120 mile route starting from GTown
2. 100+-ish route starting from Gtown. Those who want to go further can meet the Silver Spring Express train at picnic area #10 in Rock Creek. It's a 16 miles round trip to Gtown so it'll be around 120-ish when it's all said and done
3. Getting out of the area and doing something different. Give me suggestions on route.
4. Two 60 mile loops starting from GTown.
If you want to do IM Vietnam with me, regardless if you are planning to do IMLP or not, drop me an email and let me know your preference since you will most likely be pulling me for 120 miles :)
==================
CUE SHEET
==================
-----------------------
70 Miles - South Glenn
-----------------------
http://www.mapmyride.com/route/us/dc/washington/396124943312596987
R Wisconsin (0.0)
L Resevoir Rd (@~0.5)
R MacArthur Blvd (@~1.5)
R Falls Rd (Rte 189) (@~12.6)
L S. Glen (@~15.4)
R Glen Mill Rd (@~17.1)
R to stay on Glen Mill Rd at T(@~18.9)
R to stay on Glen Mill Rd at T(@~19.8)
L Darnestown Rd. (Rte 28) (@~21.1)
L Beallsville Rd. (Rte 109) (@~36.3)
becomes Elgin
R Fisher Ave (Rte 107) (@~38.7)
quick L W. Willard Rd.
L River Rd (@~43.2)
R to stay on River (Rte 190) at Seneca (@~48.2)
R Falls Rd (@~56.1)
L MacArthur Blvd (@~58.3)
L Resevoir Rd (@~69.5)
R Wisconsin Ave (@~70.4)
============================
SILVER SPRING EXPRESS TRAIN
============================
The Silver Spring Express Train is back to Rock Creek this week. The war with the Squirrel Nation of Rock Creek continues. We won't rest until we eat every single one of them. We will restore honor to Vietnamese people everywhere.
The Silver Spring express train will meet 6:20 AM at Picnic Area #10. We'll clip at 6:25 AM.
Will not be swimming in the Mekong of the West (Potomac) this weekend,
Tuan
SUNDAY BIKE RIDE WITH THE VERTICAL SWIMMER
Star Date: Week 14
===========================================
Hello People who think the Potomac is clean enough to swim in,
*** As a reminder ... we clip at 7:00 AM this week. We will clip at 7:00 AM for the rest of the season ***
To those who are doing the DC Triathlon this weekend, I would like to give you one bit of advice ... dip yourselves in vinegar before, during, and after the swim. To those who thinks that the DC Triathlon should revert to a wave start because you miss the body contact ... swim to the turnaround buoy, turnaround, and swim back to the start ramp. That should give you plenty of action.
==================
LAST WEEK'S RIDE
==================
This is a ride report from our little excursion to Skyline Drive last weekend. It's a very beautiful and scenic ride. You all should head out there and try it out sometime. The ride went something like this: We went up a hill, then another hill, then another hill, then we hit little incline, then a little longer incline, then a bigger incline, then the incline stopped and we hit another hill.
The ride back to base was quite spectacular. The speed and the turns were a bit nerve wrecking. It was hang onto your aerobars and hope that you had clean underwear on when the ambulance picks you up. I was just glad that some dumbass squirrel didn't try to make a political statement by trying to cross the road when we were flying down.
================
IRONMAN VIETNAM
================
I know that a bunch of peeps are doing IMLP. I'm planning to have Ironman Vietnam be on July 3rd, which is 3 weeks from IMLP. I'm open to suggestions. As of right now, the following are on the table:
1. 120 mile route starting from GTown
2. 100+-ish route starting from Gtown. Those who want to go further can meet the Silver Spring Express train at picnic area #10 in Rock Creek. It's a 16 miles round trip to Gtown so it'll be around 120-ish when it's all said and done
3. Getting out of the area and doing something different. Give me suggestions on route.
4. Two 60 mile loops starting from GTown.
If you want to do IM Vietnam with me, regardless if you are planning to do IMLP or not, drop me an email and let me know your preference since you will most likely be pulling me for 120 miles :)
==================
CUE SHEET
==================
-----------------------
70 Miles - South Glenn
-----------------------
http://www.mapmyride.com/route/us/dc/washington/396124943312596987
R Wisconsin (0.0)
L Resevoir Rd (@~0.5)
R MacArthur Blvd (@~1.5)
R Falls Rd (Rte 189) (@~12.6)
L S. Glen (@~15.4)
R Glen Mill Rd (@~17.1)
R to stay on Glen Mill Rd at T(@~18.9)
R to stay on Glen Mill Rd at T(@~19.8)
L Darnestown Rd. (Rte 28) (@~21.1)
L Beallsville Rd. (Rte 109) (@~36.3)
becomes Elgin
R Fisher Ave (Rte 107) (@~38.7)
quick L W. Willard Rd.
L River Rd (@~43.2)
R to stay on River (Rte 190) at Seneca (@~48.2)
R Falls Rd (@~56.1)
L MacArthur Blvd (@~58.3)
L Resevoir Rd (@~69.5)
R Wisconsin Ave (@~70.4)
============================
SILVER SPRING EXPRESS TRAIN
============================
The Silver Spring Express Train is back to Rock Creek this week. The war with the Squirrel Nation of Rock Creek continues. We won't rest until we eat every single one of them. We will restore honor to Vietnamese people everywhere.
The Silver Spring express train will meet 6:20 AM at Picnic Area #10. We'll clip at 6:25 AM.
Will not be swimming in the Mekong of the West (Potomac) this weekend,
Tuan
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Week 13: Sunday Bike Ride with the Vertical Swimmer
===========================================
SUNDAY BIKE RIDE WITH THE VERTICAL SWIMMER
Star Date: Week 13
===========================================
Hello Supporters of Rep. Anthony Weiner,
You guys want to get together and share text messages? I hear that that's the rage in Congress these days. I sent him a text message with my bike porn the other day. He replied with ... hmm, let's just say not bike porn. There is much about the American culture that I still don't understand.
Anyway, special thanks to Ben Krasney for pulling Vietnamese #1 for 90+ miles last week. Poor guy. He shows up once a month for our ride and once a month he gets a Vietnamese sucking on his wheels like a stripper on a dollar bill. There is much that you Americans need to understand about Vietnamese culture.
===========
FIELD TRIP
===========
Last week the Vietnamese Century ride almost turned into a legit century ride. Do you understand the ramifications of that? That's how Vietnamese dudes loose our virginity. We can't let that happen again. We're not SWFs from the Ballston/Clearandon/Court House area. We don't have 10 virginities to loose.
This week we will break the hold of Poolsville by going to Skyline Drive for our ride. It will be a simple 60 miler. We will ride, eat, and be merry. Don't be a Vietnamese hater. Come out and do the ride with us.
==================
CUE SHEET
==================
The below info was blatantly stolen from Adam Stolz without permission, consent, or knowledge.
Plan is to meet at Spelunkers, http://www.spelunkerscustard.com/, in Front Royal. Clip time is 7:00-ish AM. Park in the back and on the side street so we don't take up all their parking but there's plenty of spots. My cell number is 301-613-3972. If you are planning to come to the ride, give me a call if you don't see me in the morning. Please drop me an email to let me know if you are coming. That way, we'll look for you in the morning.
No matter if you're fast or slow, it's an out-and-back so no chance of getting lost or losing people for the most part. We will head toward Thorton Gap (~62 mi total, bathrooms, water fountains). Details including elevation profile, http://bikewashington.org/routes/skyline/index.htm, click on Northern Section, bottom right, for more info.
If you want to do a carvan or carpool let me know. Kim Goldman will be going to the ride from the Court House area. I will be going to the ride from Silver Spring.
============================
SILVER SPRING EXPRESS TRAIN
============================
The Silver Spring Express Train will not be hanging around Rock Creek this week. It's too damn hot to be BBQing squirrels. It won't be too damn hot next week though.
A Vietnamese with panache,
Tuan
SUNDAY BIKE RIDE WITH THE VERTICAL SWIMMER
Star Date: Week 13
===========================================
Hello Supporters of Rep. Anthony Weiner,
You guys want to get together and share text messages? I hear that that's the rage in Congress these days. I sent him a text message with my bike porn the other day. He replied with ... hmm, let's just say not bike porn. There is much about the American culture that I still don't understand.
Anyway, special thanks to Ben Krasney for pulling Vietnamese #1 for 90+ miles last week. Poor guy. He shows up once a month for our ride and once a month he gets a Vietnamese sucking on his wheels like a stripper on a dollar bill. There is much that you Americans need to understand about Vietnamese culture.
===========
FIELD TRIP
===========
Last week the Vietnamese Century ride almost turned into a legit century ride. Do you understand the ramifications of that? That's how Vietnamese dudes loose our virginity. We can't let that happen again. We're not SWFs from the Ballston/Clearandon/Court House area. We don't have 10 virginities to loose.
This week we will break the hold of Poolsville by going to Skyline Drive for our ride. It will be a simple 60 miler. We will ride, eat, and be merry. Don't be a Vietnamese hater. Come out and do the ride with us.
==================
CUE SHEET
==================
The below info was blatantly stolen from Adam Stolz without permission, consent, or knowledge.
Plan is to meet at Spelunkers, http://www.spelunkerscustard.com/, in Front Royal. Clip time is 7:00-ish AM. Park in the back and on the side street so we don't take up all their parking but there's plenty of spots. My cell number is 301-613-3972. If you are planning to come to the ride, give me a call if you don't see me in the morning. Please drop me an email to let me know if you are coming. That way, we'll look for you in the morning.
No matter if you're fast or slow, it's an out-and-back so no chance of getting lost or losing people for the most part. We will head toward Thorton Gap (~62 mi total, bathrooms, water fountains). Details including elevation profile, http://bikewashington.org/routes/skyline/index.htm, click on Northern Section, bottom right, for more info.
If you want to do a carvan or carpool let me know. Kim Goldman will be going to the ride from the Court House area. I will be going to the ride from Silver Spring.
============================
SILVER SPRING EXPRESS TRAIN
============================
The Silver Spring Express Train will not be hanging around Rock Creek this week. It's too damn hot to be BBQing squirrels. It won't be too damn hot next week though.
A Vietnamese with panache,
Tuan
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Week 12: Sunday Bike Ride with the Vertical Swimmer
===========================================
SUNDAY BIKE RIDE WITH THE VERTICAL SWIMMER
Star Date: Week 12
===========================================
Hello People who are a Big Mac away from a heart attack,
How about his Saigon winter weather we've been having ha? I had to ask my grandmother to go up in the attic to retrieve my sweater the other day. Oh, she bitch a little bit, but like I told her ... the future King of Saigon can't be doing manual labor.
To celebrate the arrival of the Saigon winter season, we are going to have our infamous Vietnamese Century this Sunday ... 89 miles. Why go 100 when you can go 89? I know a lot of you Type-A folks will not be able to grasp that concept, but that's ok. I'm sure your mother still loves you even though society hates you.
We have a few new people joining the distro list this week. This is also our longest ride of the season so far ... and that's not a dig against all of Satin's little children who skipped out on the 4th loop of the Columbia ride with me. I just want to emphasize that our ride is a drop ride. Everyone rides at different speed and although we do try to wait at a variety of spots, you are expected to carry a cue sheet in case you get seperated. I get dropped every week so it's not anything personal. If you are faster, ride faster. If you are slower, ride slower. This is not a kumbya ride.
==================
CUE SHEET
==================
We are meeting at 7:00 AM this week. I know that many of you went to a state college or university, so let me repeat ... that's 7:00 AM 7:00 AM 7:00 AM 7:00 AM 7:00 AM 7:00 AM 7:00 AM 7:00 AM 7:00 AM 7:00 AM 7:00 AM 7:00 AM 7:00 AM 7:00 AM 7:00 AM 7:00 AM 7:00 AM 7:00 AM.
---------------------
89 Miles - Sugarloaf
---------------------
http://www.mapmyride.com/route/us/va/arlington/356124810328524145
R Wisconsin
L Reservoir Rd
R MacArthur Blvd
R Falls Rd (@~13.5)
L River Rd (@~15.5)
R Travilah Rd (@~20.7)
L Turkey Foot (@~23)
(stay straight onto Jones Ln at Turkey Foot turn) (@~24)
L Darnestown Rd (Rte 28) (@~25.6)
R White Ground Rd (Rte 121) (@~31)
quick R Clopper
quick L Clarksburg
L Barnesville Rd (Rte 117)(@~36)
R Slidell Rd (@~37.1)
L Comus Rd (Rte 95)(@~40.75)
L on Sugar Mountain Rd (Rte 95) (@~44.6)
(becomes Mt. Ephraim)
L Barnesville Rd (@~46.7)
R Beallsville Rd (Rte 109)(@~48.8)
(becomes Elgin)
R Fisher (107)(@~55)
quick L W. Willard
L River Rd (@~59.5)
(at Seneca intersection, turn R to stay on River (Rte 190))
R Falls Rd (@~73)
L MacArthur Blvd (@~75.1)
L Reservoir Rd (@~86.5)
R Wisconsin (@~88)
Home base @89
============================
SILVER SPRING EXPRESS TRAIN
============================
The Silver Spring Express Train will be screwing with the Squirrel Nation of Rock Creek this week. We will meet an hour earlier. Those bastards are going to think it's daylight savings time gone amuck. I'd love to see the expressions on their faces when I show up during their nut gathering hour.
We will meet at picnic area #10 on Beach Drive at 6:20 AM with a departure time of 6:25 AM.
You're not ugly, I'm just beautiful
Tuan
SUNDAY BIKE RIDE WITH THE VERTICAL SWIMMER
Star Date: Week 12
===========================================
Hello People who are a Big Mac away from a heart attack,
How about his Saigon winter weather we've been having ha? I had to ask my grandmother to go up in the attic to retrieve my sweater the other day. Oh, she bitch a little bit, but like I told her ... the future King of Saigon can't be doing manual labor.
To celebrate the arrival of the Saigon winter season, we are going to have our infamous Vietnamese Century this Sunday ... 89 miles. Why go 100 when you can go 89? I know a lot of you Type-A folks will not be able to grasp that concept, but that's ok. I'm sure your mother still loves you even though society hates you.
We have a few new people joining the distro list this week. This is also our longest ride of the season so far ... and that's not a dig against all of Satin's little children who skipped out on the 4th loop of the Columbia ride with me. I just want to emphasize that our ride is a drop ride. Everyone rides at different speed and although we do try to wait at a variety of spots, you are expected to carry a cue sheet in case you get seperated. I get dropped every week so it's not anything personal. If you are faster, ride faster. If you are slower, ride slower. This is not a kumbya ride.
==================
CUE SHEET
==================
We are meeting at 7:00 AM this week. I know that many of you went to a state college or university, so let me repeat ... that's 7:00 AM 7:00 AM 7:00 AM 7:00 AM 7:00 AM 7:00 AM 7:00 AM 7:00 AM 7:00 AM 7:00 AM 7:00 AM 7:00 AM 7:00 AM 7:00 AM 7:00 AM 7:00 AM 7:00 AM 7:00 AM.
---------------------
89 Miles - Sugarloaf
---------------------
http://www.mapmyride.com/route/us/va/arlington/356124810328524145
R Wisconsin
L Reservoir Rd
R MacArthur Blvd
R Falls Rd (@~13.5)
L River Rd (@~15.5)
R Travilah Rd (@~20.7)
L Turkey Foot (@~23)
(stay straight onto Jones Ln at Turkey Foot turn) (@~24)
L Darnestown Rd (Rte 28) (@~25.6)
R White Ground Rd (Rte 121) (@~31)
quick R Clopper
quick L Clarksburg
L Barnesville Rd (Rte 117)(@~36)
R Slidell Rd (@~37.1)
L Comus Rd (Rte 95)(@~40.75)
L on Sugar Mountain Rd (Rte 95) (@~44.6)
(becomes Mt. Ephraim)
L Barnesville Rd (@~46.7)
R Beallsville Rd (Rte 109)(@~48.8)
(becomes Elgin)
R Fisher (107)(@~55)
quick L W. Willard
L River Rd (@~59.5)
(at Seneca intersection, turn R to stay on River (Rte 190))
R Falls Rd (@~73)
L MacArthur Blvd (@~75.1)
L Reservoir Rd (@~86.5)
R Wisconsin (@~88)
Home base @89
============================
SILVER SPRING EXPRESS TRAIN
============================
The Silver Spring Express Train will be screwing with the Squirrel Nation of Rock Creek this week. We will meet an hour earlier. Those bastards are going to think it's daylight savings time gone amuck. I'd love to see the expressions on their faces when I show up during their nut gathering hour.
We will meet at picnic area #10 on Beach Drive at 6:20 AM with a departure time of 6:25 AM.
You're not ugly, I'm just beautiful
Tuan
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Week 11: Sunday Bike Ride with the Vertical Swimmer
===========================================
SUNDAY BIKE RIDE WITH THE VERTICAL SWIMMER
Star Date: Week 11
===========================================
Hello People who will never qualify for Kona,
We have an 80 miler this Sunday. My testicles just shrank 3 cm just thinking about that. I've got to start wearing a cup to the office more often ... but what are you going to do? You're damn if you do. You're damn if you don't.
We have another cat lady alert. According to my sources (Sarah Swigart), AJ Morrison is the mother of all cat ladies. Not sure what AJ did to Sarah for Sarah to send me a list of things that AJ does to garner this title. For all of the single ladies out there. If ANY of the below items pertain to you, there is no need to ask yourself why you're still single.
1. You grow living things in you office (plants, avocados, mice, etc)
2. You refer to any woman not wearing a bra as a skank
3. You wear a skirt/dress on top of another skirt/dress
4. You have a candle for every situation imaginable. Break up with a boyfriend? There is a candle for that. Your ex has a hot new hoochie girlfriend? There is a candle for that. A Vietnamese coming over to your home? Apparently there are 50 candles for that.
5. You knit
6. You have a friend named Sarah Swigart
===================
SPONSORED ATHLETE
===================
I am now officially a sponsored athlete. My company is giving me some money to sponsor my Ironman Germany trip. They are also matching dollar for dollar any additional funds that I raise. If you love your mother, you will give me your money. For contributions, visit the below url.
http://ironmangermanyfund.webs.com/apps/donations
========================
DC TRIATHLON VOLUNTEERS
=========================
Carrie Campbell, a DCTri member, is a volunteer coordinator at the DCTriathlon. She needs your help. She current zero bike marshals for the bike course for the DC Triathlon in June. There will be a lot of women cyclists out there ... and you know how bad women are with directions.
Please drop Carrie an email if you can volunteer for the event.
Carrie Campbell <CarrieACampbell@gmail.com>;
==================
CUE SHEET
==================
We still meet at 8:00 AM this weekend. However, we'll move to 7:00 AM starting in June. For those who are about to bitch and whine about the new meeting time ... bite me!
80 Miler - Darnstown Rail Road Tracks
---------------------------------------
http://www.mapmyride.com/route/us/dc/washington/860124774813552902
R Wisconsin Ave (@~0.0)
L Reservoir Rd (@~1.5)
R MacArthur Blvd (@~2.7)
R Falls Rd (@~14.6)
L River Rd (@~16.6)
R Travilah Rd (@~21.7)
L Turkey Foot Rd (@~23.9)
at Turkey Foot and Jones, straight on Jones (@~25)
L Darnestown Rd (Rte 28) (@~26.6)
R Dickerson Rd (@~39.2)
** turn around at the train tracks or gas station on your right hand side. They are about 100 yards apart(@~40.5). The train tracks are above you in the form of a bridge (i.e., not at street level)
Dickerson Rd
L Darnestown Rd (@~41.5)
R Beallsville Rd (Rte 109) (@~44)
R Fisher
quick L W.Willard Rd (@~46.4)
L River Rd (@~50.9)
at Seneca intersection, R to stay on River (Rte 190) (@~56)
R Falls Rd (@~64.1)
L MacArthur Blvd (@~66.1)
L Reservoir Rd (@~77.5)
R Wisconsin Ave (@~78.4)
Home Base @80-ish
REST STOPS
------------
For the folks in my pace group and recommended for other pace groups:
Stop #1: Gas station at mile 15
Stop #2: Gas station at turnaround point (mile 40-ish)
Stop #3: Gas station #1 above mile (64-ish)
Stop #4: Base camp
More stops if requested along the way.
============================
SILVER SPRING EXPRESS TRAIN
============================
The Silver Spring Express Train has been infiltrated by the militant wing of the Squirrel Nation of Rock Creek. I'm afraid the war is spreading. I take full responsibility for that. I thought the world was ending on May 21th. As it turns out, the Squirrel Nation of Rock Creek was just screwing with me. Don't those bastards know that I'm not a vegetarian?
We will meet at picnic area #10 on Beach Drive at 7:20 AM with a departure time of 7:25 AM.
The world did not end,
Tuan
SUNDAY BIKE RIDE WITH THE VERTICAL SWIMMER
Star Date: Week 11
===========================================
Hello People who will never qualify for Kona,
We have an 80 miler this Sunday. My testicles just shrank 3 cm just thinking about that. I've got to start wearing a cup to the office more often ... but what are you going to do? You're damn if you do. You're damn if you don't.
We have another cat lady alert. According to my sources (Sarah Swigart), AJ Morrison is the mother of all cat ladies. Not sure what AJ did to Sarah for Sarah to send me a list of things that AJ does to garner this title. For all of the single ladies out there. If ANY of the below items pertain to you, there is no need to ask yourself why you're still single.
1. You grow living things in you office (plants, avocados, mice, etc)
2. You refer to any woman not wearing a bra as a skank
3. You wear a skirt/dress on top of another skirt/dress
4. You have a candle for every situation imaginable. Break up with a boyfriend? There is a candle for that. Your ex has a hot new hoochie girlfriend? There is a candle for that. A Vietnamese coming over to your home? Apparently there are 50 candles for that.
5. You knit
6. You have a friend named Sarah Swigart
===================
SPONSORED ATHLETE
===================
I am now officially a sponsored athlete. My company is giving me some money to sponsor my Ironman Germany trip. They are also matching dollar for dollar any additional funds that I raise. If you love your mother, you will give me your money. For contributions, visit the below url.
http://ironmangermanyfund.webs.com/apps/donations
========================
DC TRIATHLON VOLUNTEERS
=========================
Carrie Campbell, a DCTri member, is a volunteer coordinator at the DCTriathlon. She needs your help. She current zero bike marshals for the bike course for the DC Triathlon in June. There will be a lot of women cyclists out there ... and you know how bad women are with directions.
Please drop Carrie an email if you can volunteer for the event.
Carrie Campbell <CarrieACampbell@gmail.com>;
==================
CUE SHEET
==================
We still meet at 8:00 AM this weekend. However, we'll move to 7:00 AM starting in June. For those who are about to bitch and whine about the new meeting time ... bite me!
80 Miler - Darnstown Rail Road Tracks
---------------------------------------
http://www.mapmyride.com/route/us/dc/washington/860124774813552902
R Wisconsin Ave (@~0.0)
L Reservoir Rd (@~1.5)
R MacArthur Blvd (@~2.7)
R Falls Rd (@~14.6)
L River Rd (@~16.6)
R Travilah Rd (@~21.7)
L Turkey Foot Rd (@~23.9)
at Turkey Foot and Jones, straight on Jones (@~25)
L Darnestown Rd (Rte 28) (@~26.6)
R Dickerson Rd (@~39.2)
** turn around at the train tracks or gas station on your right hand side. They are about 100 yards apart(@~40.5). The train tracks are above you in the form of a bridge (i.e., not at street level)
Dickerson Rd
L Darnestown Rd (@~41.5)
R Beallsville Rd (Rte 109) (@~44)
R Fisher
quick L W.Willard Rd (@~46.4)
L River Rd (@~50.9)
at Seneca intersection, R to stay on River (Rte 190) (@~56)
R Falls Rd (@~64.1)
L MacArthur Blvd (@~66.1)
L Reservoir Rd (@~77.5)
R Wisconsin Ave (@~78.4)
Home Base @80-ish
REST STOPS
------------
For the folks in my pace group and recommended for other pace groups:
Stop #1: Gas station at mile 15
Stop #2: Gas station at turnaround point (mile 40-ish)
Stop #3: Gas station #1 above mile (64-ish)
Stop #4: Base camp
More stops if requested along the way.
============================
SILVER SPRING EXPRESS TRAIN
============================
The Silver Spring Express Train has been infiltrated by the militant wing of the Squirrel Nation of Rock Creek. I'm afraid the war is spreading. I take full responsibility for that. I thought the world was ending on May 21th. As it turns out, the Squirrel Nation of Rock Creek was just screwing with me. Don't those bastards know that I'm not a vegetarian?
We will meet at picnic area #10 on Beach Drive at 7:20 AM with a departure time of 7:25 AM.
The world did not end,
Tuan
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Week 10: Sunday Bike Ride with the Vertical Swimmer
===========================================
SUNDAY BIKE RIDE WITH THE VERTICAL SWIMMER
Star Date: Week 10
===========================================
Hello Cat ladies,
I feel like I have done an extremely poor job of insulting women on our bike distro list this season. It's time to turn the tide a little bit. Did you know that there another cat lady on our bike distro list? No, I'm not referring to Hillary Peasbody or Anna McGeehan who plaster their bathrooms with so many candles that no straight dude can feel comfortable entering it. No, I'm not talking about Lauren Trocchio who only dates guys with one testicles. We've already talked about those future cat ladies.
This week we shall talk about a CURRENT cat lady. Meet Beth Durma, cat lady extraodinaire. How do I know that she's a current lady? What normal woman takes a picture of an avocado and post it on facebook every other day? The worst part is, she thinks it's normal. Why do people friend me on facebook and do things like this? What have I done to piss off the gods?
===========
BIKE NAME
===========
I have decided to name my new bike. You all shall now call it the Vomahawk. It's named after the Tomahawk cruise missile, a destroyer with the radar signature of a bumble bee. The Vomahawk on the other hand has a radar signature of a Vietnamese and powered by Vietnamese diesel. If it can get off of the ground ... well, let's not talk hypothetical.
=====================
PEASANT MAN PICTURES
=====================
Below is the text that I sent out to all PeasantMan athletes and volunteers. For those who weren't there and would like to see those pictures, here is your chance.
---
---
You call can now stop driving by my house at all hours of the day. I get it. You want to see PeasantMan pictures and you want to know where your sweater wearing dog is. I can only grant you one wish ... below are the PeasantMan pictures.
You will notice that when you click on the URL, a page comes up that doesn't remotely look like pictures. Your first reaction will be WTF!?! It's the Nigerian Lottery all over again. Fear not people. Just create an account and you will have full access to all of the pictures. By creating the account, you promised to follow Vietnamese copy rights law. That is, download them free at will and give people the funny look when they mention the phrase "copy rights law."
There were about 2,000 pictures taken. These include s/b/r pictures as well as all festivities pictures. If you aren't in any of them, stop using spandex cloaking technology during a race. The last URL below is a link to all of the 2,000 pictures. The first 6 URLs are small subset samplings.
Pre-Race and Swim: http://highcloud.ning.com/photo/albums/peasant-man-prerace-swim
Swim exit: http://highcloud.ning.com/photo/albums/peasant-man-swim-exit
Bike / Run#1 http://highcloud.ning.com/photo/albums/peasant-man-bike-run-1
Bike / Run#2: http://highcloud.ning.com/photo/albums/peasant-man-bike-run-2
Finish line#1: http://highcloud.ning.com/photo/albums/peasant-man-finish-line-1
Finish Line#2 and Post race: http://highcloud.ning.com/photo/albums/peasant-man-finish-line-2
Complete set: http://highcloud.ning.com/photo
==================
CUE SHEET
==================
Ride still starts at 8:00 AM. The Ed Moser rule is still in effect. If you show up at 8:01, the only person that you will see there is Ed Moser.
70 Miles - South Glenn
-----------------------
http://www.mapmyride.com/route/us/dc/washington/396124943312596987
R Wisconsin (0.0)
L Resevoir Rd (@~0.5)
R MacArthur Blvd (@~1.5)
R Falls Rd (Rte 189) (@~12.6)
L S. Glen (@~15.4)
R Glen Mill Rd (@~17.1)
R to stay on Glen Mill Rd at T(@~18.9)
R to stay on Glen Mill Rd at T(@~19.8)
L Darnestown Rd. (Rte 28) (@~21.1)
L Beallsville Rd. (Rte 109) (@~36.3)
becomes Elgin
R Fisher Ave (Rte 107) (@~38.7)
quick L W. Willard Rd.
L River Rd (@~43.2)
R to stay on River (Rte 190) at Seneca (@~48.2)
R Falls Rd (@~56.1)
L MacArthur Blvd (@~58.3)
L Resevoir Rd (@~69.5)
R Wisconsin Ave (@~70.4)
REST STOPS
------------
For the folks in my pace group and recommended for other pace groups:
Stop #1: Gas station at mile 15
Stop #2: Gas station at Darnstown/Bealsville (mile 36-ish)
Stop #3: Gas station #1 above mile (58-ish)
Stop #4: Base camp
============================
SILVER SPRING EXPRESS TRAIN
============================
The Vomahawk will come out to play with the Silver Spring Express Train this Sunday. Squirrel Nation of Rock Creek ... you're screwed.
We will meet at picnic area #10 on Beach Drive at 7:20 AM with a departure time of 7:25 AM.
Tuan
SUNDAY BIKE RIDE WITH THE VERTICAL SWIMMER
Star Date: Week 10
===========================================
Hello Cat ladies,
I feel like I have done an extremely poor job of insulting women on our bike distro list this season. It's time to turn the tide a little bit. Did you know that there another cat lady on our bike distro list? No, I'm not referring to Hillary Peasbody or Anna McGeehan who plaster their bathrooms with so many candles that no straight dude can feel comfortable entering it. No, I'm not talking about Lauren Trocchio who only dates guys with one testicles. We've already talked about those future cat ladies.
This week we shall talk about a CURRENT cat lady. Meet Beth Durma, cat lady extraodinaire. How do I know that she's a current lady? What normal woman takes a picture of an avocado and post it on facebook every other day? The worst part is, she thinks it's normal. Why do people friend me on facebook and do things like this? What have I done to piss off the gods?
===========
BIKE NAME
===========
I have decided to name my new bike. You all shall now call it the Vomahawk. It's named after the Tomahawk cruise missile, a destroyer with the radar signature of a bumble bee. The Vomahawk on the other hand has a radar signature of a Vietnamese and powered by Vietnamese diesel. If it can get off of the ground ... well, let's not talk hypothetical.
=====================
PEASANT MAN PICTURES
=====================
Below is the text that I sent out to all PeasantMan athletes and volunteers. For those who weren't there and would like to see those pictures, here is your chance.
---
---
You call can now stop driving by my house at all hours of the day. I get it. You want to see PeasantMan pictures and you want to know where your sweater wearing dog is. I can only grant you one wish ... below are the PeasantMan pictures.
You will notice that when you click on the URL, a page comes up that doesn't remotely look like pictures. Your first reaction will be WTF!?! It's the Nigerian Lottery all over again. Fear not people. Just create an account and you will have full access to all of the pictures. By creating the account, you promised to follow Vietnamese copy rights law. That is, download them free at will and give people the funny look when they mention the phrase "copy rights law."
There were about 2,000 pictures taken. These include s/b/r pictures as well as all festivities pictures. If you aren't in any of them, stop using spandex cloaking technology during a race. The last URL below is a link to all of the 2,000 pictures. The first 6 URLs are small subset samplings.
Pre-Race and Swim: http://highcloud.ning.com/photo/albums/peasant-man-prerace-swim
Swim exit: http://highcloud.ning.com/photo/albums/peasant-man-swim-exit
Bike / Run#1 http://highcloud.ning.com/photo/albums/peasant-man-bike-run-1
Bike / Run#2: http://highcloud.ning.com/photo/albums/peasant-man-bike-run-2
Finish line#1: http://highcloud.ning.com/photo/albums/peasant-man-finish-line-1
Finish Line#2 and Post race: http://highcloud.ning.com/photo/albums/peasant-man-finish-line-2
Complete set: http://highcloud.ning.com/photo
==================
CUE SHEET
==================
Ride still starts at 8:00 AM. The Ed Moser rule is still in effect. If you show up at 8:01, the only person that you will see there is Ed Moser.
70 Miles - South Glenn
-----------------------
http://www.mapmyride.com/route/us/dc/washington/396124943312596987
R Wisconsin (0.0)
L Resevoir Rd (@~0.5)
R MacArthur Blvd (@~1.5)
R Falls Rd (Rte 189) (@~12.6)
L S. Glen (@~15.4)
R Glen Mill Rd (@~17.1)
R to stay on Glen Mill Rd at T(@~18.9)
R to stay on Glen Mill Rd at T(@~19.8)
L Darnestown Rd. (Rte 28) (@~21.1)
L Beallsville Rd. (Rte 109) (@~36.3)
becomes Elgin
R Fisher Ave (Rte 107) (@~38.7)
quick L W. Willard Rd.
L River Rd (@~43.2)
R to stay on River (Rte 190) at Seneca (@~48.2)
R Falls Rd (@~56.1)
L MacArthur Blvd (@~58.3)
L Resevoir Rd (@~69.5)
R Wisconsin Ave (@~70.4)
REST STOPS
------------
For the folks in my pace group and recommended for other pace groups:
Stop #1: Gas station at mile 15
Stop #2: Gas station at Darnstown/Bealsville (mile 36-ish)
Stop #3: Gas station #1 above mile (58-ish)
Stop #4: Base camp
============================
SILVER SPRING EXPRESS TRAIN
============================
The Vomahawk will come out to play with the Silver Spring Express Train this Sunday. Squirrel Nation of Rock Creek ... you're screwed.
We will meet at picnic area #10 on Beach Drive at 7:20 AM with a departure time of 7:25 AM.
Tuan
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Week 9: Sunday Bike Ride with the Vertical Swimmer
===========================================
SUNDAY BIKE RIDE WITH THE VERTICAL SWIMMER
Star Date: Week 9
===========================================
Hello Wonderful People,
I am in such a wonderful mood this morning. PeasantMan was a blast, but last night my wonderful mail order bride from Vietnam arrived in the U.S. Oh man, what a wonderful feeling it is to be in love. We've been emailing back and forth for the past several months. I'm not going to lie to you people, I've salivated over her pics for quite awhile now. I know that is sounds vain, but she's totally hot. She's from a little village outside of the majestic city of Hue in the central highlands of Vietnam. Only the purest and freshest of virgins are from that region of Vietnam.
I know that there are women reading this who are rolling their eyes and crossing their arms at this moment. They're probably making judgmental side remarks about my method of obtaining a wife, but I don't care. We're meant of one another. Nothing can squash the love and joy that are in my heart at this moment. I want to throw a special thank you out there to Mark Z for helping me pick her up from the airport last night. I was a nervous wreck and full of emotions. I doubt that I could have driven very far by myself.
Anyway, here are some pics of my new wife and I enjoying our first moments together. Life is awesome!!
https://picasaweb.google.com/Tuan2u2/BikeRideSundays#slideshow/5604905028433523858
==================
CUE SHEET
==================
Ride still starts at 8:00 AM for all the public school educated people who can't remember our starting time for longer than a week.
--------------------
60 Miles Travilah
--------------------
http://www.mapmyride.com/ride/united-states/dc/washington/926124888526131286
R Wisconsin (0.0)
L Resevoir Rd (@~0.5)
R MacArthur Blvd (@~2.1)
R Falls Rd (@~12.6)
L River Rd (@~14.7)
R Travilah Rd (@~19.8)
turn slight R to stay on Travilah at Turkey Foot intersection (@~22)
L Darnestown Rd (Rte 28) (@~25.2)
L Seneca Rd (Rte 112) (@~30.8)
becomes River Rd (@~33.6)
stay on River Rd. until the Partnership Rd intersection (@35)
TURN AROUND
River Rd (112)
R on 190 to stay on River Rd (@~36.5)
R Falls Rd (@~44.5)
L MacArthur Blvd (@~46.5)
L Resevoir Rd (@~57.9)
R Wisconsin (@~58.6)
Home base @59.44
============================
SILVER SPRING EXPRESS TRAIN
============================
If it doesn't rain, my bride may join the Silver Spring Express Train this Sunday. Squirrel Nation of Rock Creek ... your tormentor has just double in size. Let's see you bastard throw a nut at me now.
We will meet at picnic area #10 on Beach Drive at 7:20 AM with a departure time of 7:25 AM.
Vietnamese x2,
Tuan
SUNDAY BIKE RIDE WITH THE VERTICAL SWIMMER
Star Date: Week 9
===========================================
Hello Wonderful People,
I am in such a wonderful mood this morning. PeasantMan was a blast, but last night my wonderful mail order bride from Vietnam arrived in the U.S. Oh man, what a wonderful feeling it is to be in love. We've been emailing back and forth for the past several months. I'm not going to lie to you people, I've salivated over her pics for quite awhile now. I know that is sounds vain, but she's totally hot. She's from a little village outside of the majestic city of Hue in the central highlands of Vietnam. Only the purest and freshest of virgins are from that region of Vietnam.
I know that there are women reading this who are rolling their eyes and crossing their arms at this moment. They're probably making judgmental side remarks about my method of obtaining a wife, but I don't care. We're meant of one another. Nothing can squash the love and joy that are in my heart at this moment. I want to throw a special thank you out there to Mark Z for helping me pick her up from the airport last night. I was a nervous wreck and full of emotions. I doubt that I could have driven very far by myself.
Anyway, here are some pics of my new wife and I enjoying our first moments together. Life is awesome!!
https://picasaweb.google.com/Tuan2u2/BikeRideSundays#slideshow/5604905028433523858
==================
CUE SHEET
==================
Ride still starts at 8:00 AM for all the public school educated people who can't remember our starting time for longer than a week.
--------------------
60 Miles Travilah
--------------------
http://www.mapmyride.com/ride/united-states/dc/washington/926124888526131286
R Wisconsin (0.0)
L Resevoir Rd (@~0.5)
R MacArthur Blvd (@~2.1)
R Falls Rd (@~12.6)
L River Rd (@~14.7)
R Travilah Rd (@~19.8)
turn slight R to stay on Travilah at Turkey Foot intersection (@~22)
L Darnestown Rd (Rte 28) (@~25.2)
L Seneca Rd (Rte 112) (@~30.8)
becomes River Rd (@~33.6)
stay on River Rd. until the Partnership Rd intersection (@35)
TURN AROUND
River Rd (112)
R on 190 to stay on River Rd (@~36.5)
R Falls Rd (@~44.5)
L MacArthur Blvd (@~46.5)
L Resevoir Rd (@~57.9)
R Wisconsin (@~58.6)
Home base @59.44
============================
SILVER SPRING EXPRESS TRAIN
============================
If it doesn't rain, my bride may join the Silver Spring Express Train this Sunday. Squirrel Nation of Rock Creek ... your tormentor has just double in size. Let's see you bastard throw a nut at me now.
We will meet at picnic area #10 on Beach Drive at 7:20 AM with a departure time of 7:25 AM.
Vietnamese x2,
Tuan
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Week 8: Sunday Bike Ride With the Vertical Swimmer
No ride this Sunday due to the greatest vertical show on earch ... PeasantMan. Below is the daily update that I just sent out to the PeasantMan folks. It also has the PeasantMan athlete's guide, which is also a good read.
======================================
Hi All,
The response to the Saturday night sacrificing of a virgin bonfire has been quite overwhelming. Apparently we have quite a few people from the Ballston/Clarendon/Court House corridor who have never seen a virgin before so they wanted to take advantage of this opportunity. How you people have yet to burn in hell is still beyond me.
We have 60+ people for the ceremony. Back in 'Nam, do you know what they call a gathering of 60+ people at a campsite? Viet Congs. This is quite a bit more people than we anticipated. This means that some of you cheap ass people will definitely need to donate $5 to the cause or bring something to share with everyone. We have a lot of vegetarians, but as we all know, there are no vegetarian dishes at a virgin sacrifice ceremony. We want to keep the ceremony as authentic as possible. This means that if you are a vegetarian that you will need to bring whatever it is that you people eat to the ceremony to share with your own kind.
============
CAMPSITE
============
If you are going to Lake Anna on Friday, please let me know. We have a person who has a campsite, but would like to be around more people. You can share you campsite with that person, or that person can share with you. Safety in numbers ....
=============
TIMING CHIP
=============
I have sent the final roster. Whatever distance that you put on there during the registration is what your timing results will be based off of. If you want to change it, you can do so at the timing chip table prior to the event. If you are not planning to do all the disciplines in their entirely, please let the timing folks people know so that they don't rank you in the final results. We don't want to see any 3 min/mile results in there.
=============
SWIM CLINIC
=============
We have a lot of folks signing up for the swim clinic. If you are planing to stay for the night time festivities, please let me know. I know that some will just drive straight back home afterward. I want a good head count.
=================
ATHLETE'S GUIDE
=================
For those who've yet to check, the PeasantMan Athlete's Guide has been posted. Please go to the middle of the page of the below URL for your copy
http://www.highcloud.org/peasantman
I have been getting a lot of emails asking me questions that are in the Athlete's Guide. I poured my heart and sould into that document so please read it before asking me any questions. If the answer that you are looking for is not in there, read it backward.
=================
TRANSITION AREA
=================
Just a reminder that children and pets are not allowed in the transition area. Please leave them outside or chain little Britney up somewhere. There are a lot of people in the transition area who are allergic to children. They are called fear of commitment people. They will break into convulsions if your little bundle of joy are within 5 feet of them. Please keep the kids and the significant others outside of the transition area. This is for safety reasons and respect for other athletes. The transition area will be crowded enough as is without your love ones in there.
Pets are a bit more tricky. I was born and raised in Vietnam. We have a love/hate relationship with household pets. Your little poochie coochie walking in front of me is like a Georgetown cupcake walking in front of Fat Albert. Trust me, you don't want to tease the Gods like that ... so please keep them away from the transition area.
Tuan
======================================
Hi All,
The response to the Saturday night sacrificing of a virgin bonfire has been quite overwhelming. Apparently we have quite a few people from the Ballston/Clarendon/Court House corridor who have never seen a virgin before so they wanted to take advantage of this opportunity. How you people have yet to burn in hell is still beyond me.
We have 60+ people for the ceremony. Back in 'Nam, do you know what they call a gathering of 60+ people at a campsite? Viet Congs. This is quite a bit more people than we anticipated. This means that some of you cheap ass people will definitely need to donate $5 to the cause or bring something to share with everyone. We have a lot of vegetarians, but as we all know, there are no vegetarian dishes at a virgin sacrifice ceremony. We want to keep the ceremony as authentic as possible. This means that if you are a vegetarian that you will need to bring whatever it is that you people eat to the ceremony to share with your own kind.
============
CAMPSITE
============
If you are going to Lake Anna on Friday, please let me know. We have a person who has a campsite, but would like to be around more people. You can share you campsite with that person, or that person can share with you. Safety in numbers ....
=============
TIMING CHIP
=============
I have sent the final roster. Whatever distance that you put on there during the registration is what your timing results will be based off of. If you want to change it, you can do so at the timing chip table prior to the event. If you are not planning to do all the disciplines in their entirely, please let the timing folks people know so that they don't rank you in the final results. We don't want to see any 3 min/mile results in there.
=============
SWIM CLINIC
=============
We have a lot of folks signing up for the swim clinic. If you are planing to stay for the night time festivities, please let me know. I know that some will just drive straight back home afterward. I want a good head count.
=================
ATHLETE'S GUIDE
=================
For those who've yet to check, the PeasantMan Athlete's Guide has been posted. Please go to the middle of the page of the below URL for your copy
http://www.highcloud.org/peasantman
I have been getting a lot of emails asking me questions that are in the Athlete's Guide. I poured my heart and sould into that document so please read it before asking me any questions. If the answer that you are looking for is not in there, read it backward.
=================
TRANSITION AREA
=================
Just a reminder that children and pets are not allowed in the transition area. Please leave them outside or chain little Britney up somewhere. There are a lot of people in the transition area who are allergic to children. They are called fear of commitment people. They will break into convulsions if your little bundle of joy are within 5 feet of them. Please keep the kids and the significant others outside of the transition area. This is for safety reasons and respect for other athletes. The transition area will be crowded enough as is without your love ones in there.
Pets are a bit more tricky. I was born and raised in Vietnam. We have a love/hate relationship with household pets. Your little poochie coochie walking in front of me is like a Georgetown cupcake walking in front of Fat Albert. Trust me, you don't want to tease the Gods like that ... so please keep them away from the transition area.
Tuan
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Sunday Bike Ride with the Vertical Swimmer - Week 7
===========================================
SUNDAY BIKE RIDE WITH THE VERTICAL SWIMMER
Star Date: Week 7
===========================================
Hello Amigos,
I got a Facebook message from one of our bikers from last week. Alejandro Escabar told me that he lost a testicle during last week's ride. First of all, you're Columbian. Get out of the family coco business. Secondly, that's what happens when you don't SPF your skin during a ride under the sun. Not sure why he told me that ... it's not like I have an extra one to spare.
Besides, I have my own problems. When I got home last week, I noticed that I had a rice paddie farmer's tan. I can no longer wear one of 'em Euro tri kits because of this. You're damn if you do, you're damn if you don't.
==========
100 MILES
==========
This week is the Columbian Sterilization Project ride. We will go 4x of the Columbia Tri course. If you plan on having children, do it before Sunday. After Sunday, you may be walking like you have an STD. What the heck am I saying? You're peasants ... you're a walking STD.
We will meet at 7:00 AM in the parking lot of the Columbia tri. Let's plan to park and meet as closed to the entrance gate as we can. This will make it easier for us to refuel after each lap. My cell number is 301-613-3972. Use it if you don't see me in the morning. I will try to be there by 6:45 AM. It's going to be a long day. I want to do 4x and have enough time to eat before those NTP savages eat up all of the food meant for Royalty.
The plan is to use a bathroom break after every loop. We will do a full nutrition refuel after the second loop. In other words, have enough fluids and nutrition on you for 50 miles. If you are not man enough to go 4 loops. Feel free to join us in the morning and do as few loops as you want.
The cue sheet is below.
http://www.tricolumbia.org/userfiles/files/event_files/columbia/CT_Course_Maps_20110313.pdf
============================
SILVER SPRING EXPRESS TRAIN
============================
The Silver Spring Express train willtake a week off to do the Columbia course. Unfortunately, this will allow the Squirrel Nation to reinforce their defenses ... but what are you going to do?
How do you treat a peasant's tan? I feel so dirty,
Tuan
SUNDAY BIKE RIDE WITH THE VERTICAL SWIMMER
Star Date: Week 7
===========================================
Hello Amigos,
I got a Facebook message from one of our bikers from last week. Alejandro Escabar told me that he lost a testicle during last week's ride. First of all, you're Columbian. Get out of the family coco business. Secondly, that's what happens when you don't SPF your skin during a ride under the sun. Not sure why he told me that ... it's not like I have an extra one to spare.
Besides, I have my own problems. When I got home last week, I noticed that I had a rice paddie farmer's tan. I can no longer wear one of 'em Euro tri kits because of this. You're damn if you do, you're damn if you don't.
==========
100 MILES
==========
This week is the Columbian Sterilization Project ride. We will go 4x of the Columbia Tri course. If you plan on having children, do it before Sunday. After Sunday, you may be walking like you have an STD. What the heck am I saying? You're peasants ... you're a walking STD.
We will meet at 7:00 AM in the parking lot of the Columbia tri. Let's plan to park and meet as closed to the entrance gate as we can. This will make it easier for us to refuel after each lap. My cell number is 301-613-3972. Use it if you don't see me in the morning. I will try to be there by 6:45 AM. It's going to be a long day. I want to do 4x and have enough time to eat before those NTP savages eat up all of the food meant for Royalty.
The plan is to use a bathroom break after every loop. We will do a full nutrition refuel after the second loop. In other words, have enough fluids and nutrition on you for 50 miles. If you are not man enough to go 4 loops. Feel free to join us in the morning and do as few loops as you want.
The cue sheet is below.
http://www.tricolumbia.org/userfiles/files/event_files/columbia/CT_Course_Maps_20110313.pdf
============================
SILVER SPRING EXPRESS TRAIN
============================
The Silver Spring Express train willtake a week off to do the Columbia course. Unfortunately, this will allow the Squirrel Nation to reinforce their defenses ... but what are you going to do?
How do you treat a peasant's tan? I feel so dirty,
Tuan
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Sunday Bike Ride Week 6
==========================================
SUNDAY BIKE RIDE WITH THE VERTICAL SWIMMER
Star Date: Week 6
===========================================
Hello Hideous People,
Strong ride last week under blistering wind. It's a good thing that my ability to streamline behind other cyclists is legendary. That wind had no chance against a guy with my girlish figure tucked away behind a bunch of cyclists.
Special shoutout to Andrea Fava for making it out to our ride twice in a row. Must be that time of month again.
===============
PRODUCT REVIEW
===============
The great people at High Cloud Foundation through their partnership with 2XU gave me a very nice free pair of 2XU compression socks. They wanted me to wear them and write up a review on my blog. Well, say no more. Below is my review of the product. I hope 2XU puts it on their web site.
I put on the 2XU compression socks immediately after our ride this past weekend. The first thing that I noticed was that, with the socks on, my sperm count went through the roof. The second thing that I noticed was that I suddenly developed a great urge to douche. I don't know WTF they put in 'em socks but it can't be UCI legal. Don't get me wrong. It helped my recovery tremdously. However, you know how judgemental American women are. They won't understand why I have three cases of douche paraphernalia in my home. They might think I'm Cambodian or something.
Well, that's the cliff note version of my product review. If you want the full unedited version, please send me $19.99.
==========
70 MILES
==========
We are taking a slight deviation from our normal route this weekend. Study the map and don't lead me astray. I'm too busy sucking wheels in the back to make sure you folks in the front make correct turns.
As a reminder, we clip at 8:00 AM.
http://www.mapmyride.com/route/us/dc/washington/490124707161621478
0.0 -- Home base
R Wisconsin
L Resevoir
2.6 BR MacArthur Blvd
9.6 R Persimmon Tree Rd
11.7 L Oaklyn Dr
14.2 R Falls, 189
15.1 L (at light) River Rd, 190
23.3 R (at T) Seneca Rd, 112
26 L (at T) Darnestown Rd, 28
29.3 BR stay on Darnestown Rd, 28
35 L Beallsville Rd, 109
(becomes Elgin around mile 37)
37.4 R Fisher Ave/Whitesferry Rd
37.4 QL (quick left) W. Willard Rd
41.8 L (at T) River Rd
46.8 R to stay on River Rd, 190 (at Seneca)
55 R (at light) Falls
57 L (at T) MacArthur Blvd
68.8 BL Resevoir Rd
69.6 R (at T) Wisconsin
============================
SILVER SPRING EXPRESS TRAIN
============================
The Silver Spring Express train lost some passengers last week. Apparently fried squirrel tail Saigon style isn't to their liking. The way I look at it is that if God doesn't want us to eat squirrel tails, he wouldn't have given squirrel ... tails. It's just an obvious line of thinking that few can really comprehend.
We will meet at picnic area #10 on Beach Drive at 7:20 AM with a departure time of 7:25 AM.
I am not awesome. I'm just a little bit better than you.
Tuan
SUNDAY BIKE RIDE WITH THE VERTICAL SWIMMER
Star Date: Week 6
===========================================
Hello Hideous People,
Strong ride last week under blistering wind. It's a good thing that my ability to streamline behind other cyclists is legendary. That wind had no chance against a guy with my girlish figure tucked away behind a bunch of cyclists.
Special shoutout to Andrea Fava for making it out to our ride twice in a row. Must be that time of month again.
===============
PRODUCT REVIEW
===============
The great people at High Cloud Foundation through their partnership with 2XU gave me a very nice free pair of 2XU compression socks. They wanted me to wear them and write up a review on my blog. Well, say no more. Below is my review of the product. I hope 2XU puts it on their web site.
I put on the 2XU compression socks immediately after our ride this past weekend. The first thing that I noticed was that, with the socks on, my sperm count went through the roof. The second thing that I noticed was that I suddenly developed a great urge to douche. I don't know WTF they put in 'em socks but it can't be UCI legal. Don't get me wrong. It helped my recovery tremdously. However, you know how judgemental American women are. They won't understand why I have three cases of douche paraphernalia in my home. They might think I'm Cambodian or something.
Well, that's the cliff note version of my product review. If you want the full unedited version, please send me $19.99.
==========
70 MILES
==========
We are taking a slight deviation from our normal route this weekend. Study the map and don't lead me astray. I'm too busy sucking wheels in the back to make sure you folks in the front make correct turns.
As a reminder, we clip at 8:00 AM.
http://www.mapmyride.com/route/us/dc/washington/490124707161621478
0.0 -- Home base
R Wisconsin
L Resevoir
2.6 BR MacArthur Blvd
9.6 R Persimmon Tree Rd
11.7 L Oaklyn Dr
14.2 R Falls, 189
15.1 L (at light) River Rd, 190
23.3 R (at T) Seneca Rd, 112
26 L (at T) Darnestown Rd, 28
29.3 BR stay on Darnestown Rd, 28
35 L Beallsville Rd, 109
(becomes Elgin around mile 37)
37.4 R Fisher Ave/Whitesferry Rd
37.4 QL (quick left) W. Willard Rd
41.8 L (at T) River Rd
46.8 R to stay on River Rd, 190 (at Seneca)
55 R (at light) Falls
57 L (at T) MacArthur Blvd
68.8 BL Resevoir Rd
69.6 R (at T) Wisconsin
============================
SILVER SPRING EXPRESS TRAIN
============================
The Silver Spring Express train lost some passengers last week. Apparently fried squirrel tail Saigon style isn't to their liking. The way I look at it is that if God doesn't want us to eat squirrel tails, he wouldn't have given squirrel ... tails. It's just an obvious line of thinking that few can really comprehend.
We will meet at picnic area #10 on Beach Drive at 7:20 AM with a departure time of 7:25 AM.
I am not awesome. I'm just a little bit better than you.
Tuan
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Sunday Bike Ride with the Vertical Swimmer - Week 5
===========================================
SUNDAY BIKE RIDE WITH THE VERTICAL SWIMMER
Star Date: Week 5
===========================================
Hello Tax Cheats,
How's the tax prep going? Did you donate $100,000 to the local orphanage in Silver Spring like I did? Did you claim your 30 year old cousin as one of your dependents? It's times like these when I'm glad that I'm Vietnamese. For us, it's kind of stupid to go through this charade with the feds when paying taxes is optional. Why make it optional and then turn around and audit us for it? Makes no sense to me.
Ever wonder why Turbo Tax doesn't have a Vietnamese edition? Well, let me tell you why.
1. There would be 1 copy sold, but there would be 3 million Vietnamese with copies of it on their hard drives. Ever heard of Vapster? It's the Vietnamese version on Napster. You can get everything on there ... even Vialis (Cialis for Vietnamese)
2. If you bring up word "refund" to a Vietnamese govt official, your ass will be dining in the luxury dining hall of the Nha Trang re-education camp. I keep telling my cousins back in the motherland that it ain't Saigon 1974 anymore. You can't be making smart ass comments like that in a Viet Cong govt building. That's like making a light hearted comment to TSA that you're al qaeda. They got body cavity searches for people like you.
3. If you bring up "taxable income" to a Vietnamese, all you get are funny stares and big laughter. Vietnamese people just have no shame ... but I digress. I'll just go back to writing stupid emails during billable hours.
=====================
80 MILE RIDE REPORT
=====================
Solid ride last week. Well, solid for the first 30 miles or so until the bike Nazis took over. I had just finished commenting to myself about what a lovely pace we were doing and then the mother haters took over. Is everyone on our ride on East German EPO or something? I was hanging on for dear life those last 50 miles. I wanted to cry but my great desire to puke overrode that.
Don't you mother haters understand that the Vamboghini shakes and rattles violently if the odometer shows 20 and above? The more that I ride with you folks, the more I get the feeling that you folks get a great high in trying to drop me. The last time that I pedaled that fast was when "uncle" Quang asked us back for family night at the re-education camp. I've got a lot of fat cousins. We can't be sharing one grain of rice for dinner like the good old days.
===============
BLOG SHOUT OUT
===============
Vertical Nation Inc. got mentioned in a blog by a fellow Sunday Bike Ride distro list member. Whenever someone shouts at us in their blog, we shout back. Check out Courtney Fulton's blog. She's a member of the DCTri Elite team who is freakishly fast. Her greatest fear in life is to have a Vietnamese suck on her wheels for 80 miles. I am not sure why such a fear exists when you all know real well that that position is filled by Kate Kaufer.
Anyway, check out Courtney's blog. Not only is she fast, but she's an awesome person. She might love her mother also ... but I won't throw baseless accusations around.
http://courtneyfulton.blogspot.com/
==================
60 Miles Travilah
==================
This week we take a step back. After last week's hammerfest, we need to have the feelings below our waist restored. Those longer rides that we have been doing are more effective than birth control pills. DISCLAIMER: I am not on the pill ... they make me bloat and they have a placebo affect on me.
We clip at 8:00 AM from GTown.
http://www.mapmyride.com/ride/united-states/dc/washington/926124888526131286
R Wisconsin (0.0)
L Resevoir Rd (@~0.5)
R MacArthur Blvd (@~2.1)
R Falls Rd (@~12.6)
L River Rd (@~14.7)
R Travilah Rd (@~19.8)
turn slight R to stay on Travilah at Turkey Foot intersection (@~22)
L Darnestown Rd (Rte 28) (@~25.2)
L Seneca Rd (Rte 112) (@~30.8)
becomes River Rd (@~33.6)
stay on River Rd. until the Partnership Rd intersection (@35)
TURN AROUND
River Rd (112)
R on 190 to stay on River Rd (@~36.5)
R Falls Rd (@~44.5)
L MacArthur Blvd (@~46.5)
L Resevoir Rd (@~57.9)
R Wisconsin (@~58.6)
Home base @59.44
============================
SILVER SPRING EXPRESS TRAIN
============================
The Silver Spring Express train picked up even more passengers last week. If we continue down this path, there may not be enough squirrels left over for every man, woman, and child. People will go hungry. They will bitch, but we don't care. We're royalty.
We will meet at picnic area #10 on Beach Drive at 7:20 AM with a departure time of 7:25 AM.
Don't be a mother hater,
Tuan
SUNDAY BIKE RIDE WITH THE VERTICAL SWIMMER
Star Date: Week 5
===========================================
Hello Tax Cheats,
How's the tax prep going? Did you donate $100,000 to the local orphanage in Silver Spring like I did? Did you claim your 30 year old cousin as one of your dependents? It's times like these when I'm glad that I'm Vietnamese. For us, it's kind of stupid to go through this charade with the feds when paying taxes is optional. Why make it optional and then turn around and audit us for it? Makes no sense to me.
Ever wonder why Turbo Tax doesn't have a Vietnamese edition? Well, let me tell you why.
1. There would be 1 copy sold, but there would be 3 million Vietnamese with copies of it on their hard drives. Ever heard of Vapster? It's the Vietnamese version on Napster. You can get everything on there ... even Vialis (Cialis for Vietnamese)
2. If you bring up word "refund" to a Vietnamese govt official, your ass will be dining in the luxury dining hall of the Nha Trang re-education camp. I keep telling my cousins back in the motherland that it ain't Saigon 1974 anymore. You can't be making smart ass comments like that in a Viet Cong govt building. That's like making a light hearted comment to TSA that you're al qaeda. They got body cavity searches for people like you.
3. If you bring up "taxable income" to a Vietnamese, all you get are funny stares and big laughter. Vietnamese people just have no shame ... but I digress. I'll just go back to writing stupid emails during billable hours.
=====================
80 MILE RIDE REPORT
=====================
Solid ride last week. Well, solid for the first 30 miles or so until the bike Nazis took over. I had just finished commenting to myself about what a lovely pace we were doing and then the mother haters took over. Is everyone on our ride on East German EPO or something? I was hanging on for dear life those last 50 miles. I wanted to cry but my great desire to puke overrode that.
Don't you mother haters understand that the Vamboghini shakes and rattles violently if the odometer shows 20 and above? The more that I ride with you folks, the more I get the feeling that you folks get a great high in trying to drop me. The last time that I pedaled that fast was when "uncle" Quang asked us back for family night at the re-education camp. I've got a lot of fat cousins. We can't be sharing one grain of rice for dinner like the good old days.
===============
BLOG SHOUT OUT
===============
Vertical Nation Inc. got mentioned in a blog by a fellow Sunday Bike Ride distro list member. Whenever someone shouts at us in their blog, we shout back. Check out Courtney Fulton's blog. She's a member of the DCTri Elite team who is freakishly fast. Her greatest fear in life is to have a Vietnamese suck on her wheels for 80 miles. I am not sure why such a fear exists when you all know real well that that position is filled by Kate Kaufer.
Anyway, check out Courtney's blog. Not only is she fast, but she's an awesome person. She might love her mother also ... but I won't throw baseless accusations around.
http://courtneyfulton.blogspot.com/
==================
60 Miles Travilah
==================
This week we take a step back. After last week's hammerfest, we need to have the feelings below our waist restored. Those longer rides that we have been doing are more effective than birth control pills. DISCLAIMER: I am not on the pill ... they make me bloat and they have a placebo affect on me.
We clip at 8:00 AM from GTown.
http://www.mapmyride.com/ride/united-states/dc/washington/926124888526131286
R Wisconsin (0.0)
L Resevoir Rd (@~0.5)
R MacArthur Blvd (@~2.1)
R Falls Rd (@~12.6)
L River Rd (@~14.7)
R Travilah Rd (@~19.8)
turn slight R to stay on Travilah at Turkey Foot intersection (@~22)
L Darnestown Rd (Rte 28) (@~25.2)
L Seneca Rd (Rte 112) (@~30.8)
becomes River Rd (@~33.6)
stay on River Rd. until the Partnership Rd intersection (@35)
TURN AROUND
River Rd (112)
R on 190 to stay on River Rd (@~36.5)
R Falls Rd (@~44.5)
L MacArthur Blvd (@~46.5)
L Resevoir Rd (@~57.9)
R Wisconsin (@~58.6)
Home base @59.44
============================
SILVER SPRING EXPRESS TRAIN
============================
The Silver Spring Express train picked up even more passengers last week. If we continue down this path, there may not be enough squirrels left over for every man, woman, and child. People will go hungry. They will bitch, but we don't care. We're royalty.
We will meet at picnic area #10 on Beach Drive at 7:20 AM with a departure time of 7:25 AM.
Don't be a mother hater,
Tuan
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
2011 Sunday Bike Ride with the Vertical Swimmer Week 4
===========================================
SUNDAY BIKE RIDE WITH THE VERTICAL SWIMMER
Star Date: Week 4
===========================================
Hello Deceitful,
Where was everyone this past Sunday? The weather dips below 70s and all of a sudden everyone becomes a wuss? Is it too cold for you to bike in this weather? Perhaps we bike a bit too early in the morning for you? Would you like for me to walk into the local Giant supermarket and buy you a box of tampons with extra wide wings? Don't worry, I'll just walk up and ask the 16 year old store clerk where I can find such an item.
You think I enjoyed spending three hours after every ride trying to thaw out the only good testicle that I have left? First agent orange, then Jane Fonda, now this? Why does God hate Vietnamese men? Seinfeld only told you half of the story. Those thing(s) not only shrink, but they freeze and take hours to thaw. Women are so lucky. All they have to deal with is a few hours of childbirth. We deal with this stuff every time it's cold or during non-wetsuit swims. Why do men always have the short end of the stick? I just wished that women could walk in our shoes for a day to see what we really have to put up with ... but I digress.
Enough with the pleasantries ... on to the business at hand.
Special thanks to Kate Kaufer for pulling all the dudes for the entire 70 miles this past weekend. The woman is a beast on two wheels. She's German and she doesn't even draft. I know ... hell is about to freeze over. Some of you guys need to man up and do your part of the pull. I'd do my share, but you all know how much I love to suck wheels. Besides, I'm doing Ironman Germany this year. I need to practice my race day strategy.
===================
HORRIFIC INCIDENT
===================
We almost had a horrific incident this past Sunday during our ride. I almost became a domestic help to some bubba out in the boonies of Poolsville. Vietnamese people ... we're pretty good with nails and pedicures but not so much in the domestic help arena. That's what the Filipinos are for.
Anyway, while climbing a hill in the middle of nowhere, Vietnamese #1 got a flat and all of the sudden the bike Nazis became hard of hearing. I yelled out for help, but that just made those bastards pedal even harder. They left me out there for easy pickings for bubbas of the world. You know a guy with my soft skin and wonderful personality can't survive out there like that. "Tiny" might want to cuddle with me. Thank God that a fellow Silver Spring express train rider, John, was there to cover my flank. He helped me change my tire. Much appreciated John! I don't know what nationality you are, but you'd make a fine Filipino.
============
CUE SHEET
============
The Vertical Nation took a straw poll this past weekend. Apparently we have a lot of wusses on our ride. They bitch about pulling me and now they bitch that there is a Vietnamese Century this weekend. To show that I am a man of great compassion, we will sideline the Vietnamese Century for a later date.
This Sunday we go for 80 miles of relentless hills and lots of cursing. We may even scratch ourselves and spit. We clip at 8:00 AM.
======================================
80 Miler - Darnstown Rail Road Tracks
======================================
http://www.mapmyride.com/route/us/dc/washington/860124774813552902
R Wisconsin Ave (@~0.0)
L Reservoir Rd (@~1.5)
R MacArthur Blvd (@~2.7)
R Falls Rd (@~14.6)
L River Rd (@~16.6)
R Travilah Rd (@~21.7)
L Turkey Foot Rd (@~23.9)
at Turkey Foot and Jones, straight on Jones (@~25)
L Darnestown Rd (Rte 28) (@~26.6)
R Dickerson Rd (@~39.2)
** turn around at the train tracks or gas station on your right hand side. They are about 100 yards apart(@~40.5). The train tracks are above you in the form of a bridge (i.e., not at street level)
Dickerson Rd
L Darnestown Rd (@~41.5)
R Beallsville Rd (Rte 109) (@~44)
R Fisher
quick L W.Willard Rd (@~46.4)
L River Rd (@~50.9)
at Seneca intersection, R to stay on River (Rte 190) (@~56)
R Falls Rd (@~64.1)
L MacArthur Blvd (@~66.1)
L Reservoir Rd (@~77.5)
R Wisconsin Ave (@~78.4)
Home Base @80-ish
REST STOPS
------------
For the folks in my pace group and recommended for other pace groups:
Stop #1: Gas station at mile 15
Stop #2: Gas station at turnaround point (mile 40-ish)
Stop #3: Gas station #1 above mile (64-ish)
Stop #4: Base camp
More stops if requested along the way.
============================
SILVER SPRING EXPRESS TRAIN
============================
The Silver Spring Express train picked up two more passengers this past weekend, but lost one during the ride. John ... we waited for you at a couple of different locations, but we didn't see you. Hoped you made it back ok.
We will meet at picnic area #10 on Beach Drive at 7:20 AM with a departure time of 7:25 AM. The Squirrel Nation of Rock Creek made it all the way out to Poolsville this past weekend. Those little morsels keeping running out in front of my bike all over the state of Md. Do they have a death wish or something? Don't they understand how hungry I become during a long bike ride?
May the wind blow in your face and not mine,
Tuan
SUNDAY BIKE RIDE WITH THE VERTICAL SWIMMER
Star Date: Week 4
===========================================
Hello Deceitful,
Where was everyone this past Sunday? The weather dips below 70s and all of a sudden everyone becomes a wuss? Is it too cold for you to bike in this weather? Perhaps we bike a bit too early in the morning for you? Would you like for me to walk into the local Giant supermarket and buy you a box of tampons with extra wide wings? Don't worry, I'll just walk up and ask the 16 year old store clerk where I can find such an item.
You think I enjoyed spending three hours after every ride trying to thaw out the only good testicle that I have left? First agent orange, then Jane Fonda, now this? Why does God hate Vietnamese men? Seinfeld only told you half of the story. Those thing(s) not only shrink, but they freeze and take hours to thaw. Women are so lucky. All they have to deal with is a few hours of childbirth. We deal with this stuff every time it's cold or during non-wetsuit swims. Why do men always have the short end of the stick? I just wished that women could walk in our shoes for a day to see what we really have to put up with ... but I digress.
Enough with the pleasantries ... on to the business at hand.
Special thanks to Kate Kaufer for pulling all the dudes for the entire 70 miles this past weekend. The woman is a beast on two wheels. She's German and she doesn't even draft. I know ... hell is about to freeze over. Some of you guys need to man up and do your part of the pull. I'd do my share, but you all know how much I love to suck wheels. Besides, I'm doing Ironman Germany this year. I need to practice my race day strategy.
===================
HORRIFIC INCIDENT
===================
We almost had a horrific incident this past Sunday during our ride. I almost became a domestic help to some bubba out in the boonies of Poolsville. Vietnamese people ... we're pretty good with nails and pedicures but not so much in the domestic help arena. That's what the Filipinos are for.
Anyway, while climbing a hill in the middle of nowhere, Vietnamese #1 got a flat and all of the sudden the bike Nazis became hard of hearing. I yelled out for help, but that just made those bastards pedal even harder. They left me out there for easy pickings for bubbas of the world. You know a guy with my soft skin and wonderful personality can't survive out there like that. "Tiny" might want to cuddle with me. Thank God that a fellow Silver Spring express train rider, John, was there to cover my flank. He helped me change my tire. Much appreciated John! I don't know what nationality you are, but you'd make a fine Filipino.
============
CUE SHEET
============
The Vertical Nation took a straw poll this past weekend. Apparently we have a lot of wusses on our ride. They bitch about pulling me and now they bitch that there is a Vietnamese Century this weekend. To show that I am a man of great compassion, we will sideline the Vietnamese Century for a later date.
This Sunday we go for 80 miles of relentless hills and lots of cursing. We may even scratch ourselves and spit. We clip at 8:00 AM.
======================================
80 Miler - Darnstown Rail Road Tracks
======================================
http://www.mapmyride.com/route/us/dc/washington/860124774813552902
R Wisconsin Ave (@~0.0)
L Reservoir Rd (@~1.5)
R MacArthur Blvd (@~2.7)
R Falls Rd (@~14.6)
L River Rd (@~16.6)
R Travilah Rd (@~21.7)
L Turkey Foot Rd (@~23.9)
at Turkey Foot and Jones, straight on Jones (@~25)
L Darnestown Rd (Rte 28) (@~26.6)
R Dickerson Rd (@~39.2)
** turn around at the train tracks or gas station on your right hand side. They are about 100 yards apart(@~40.5). The train tracks are above you in the form of a bridge (i.e., not at street level)
Dickerson Rd
L Darnestown Rd (@~41.5)
R Beallsville Rd (Rte 109) (@~44)
R Fisher
quick L W.Willard Rd (@~46.4)
L River Rd (@~50.9)
at Seneca intersection, R to stay on River (Rte 190) (@~56)
R Falls Rd (@~64.1)
L MacArthur Blvd (@~66.1)
L Reservoir Rd (@~77.5)
R Wisconsin Ave (@~78.4)
Home Base @80-ish
REST STOPS
------------
For the folks in my pace group and recommended for other pace groups:
Stop #1: Gas station at mile 15
Stop #2: Gas station at turnaround point (mile 40-ish)
Stop #3: Gas station #1 above mile (64-ish)
Stop #4: Base camp
More stops if requested along the way.
============================
SILVER SPRING EXPRESS TRAIN
============================
The Silver Spring Express train picked up two more passengers this past weekend, but lost one during the ride. John ... we waited for you at a couple of different locations, but we didn't see you. Hoped you made it back ok.
We will meet at picnic area #10 on Beach Drive at 7:20 AM with a departure time of 7:25 AM. The Squirrel Nation of Rock Creek made it all the way out to Poolsville this past weekend. Those little morsels keeping running out in front of my bike all over the state of Md. Do they have a death wish or something? Don't they understand how hungry I become during a long bike ride?
May the wind blow in your face and not mine,
Tuan
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