Thursday, January 5, 2012

The Return of PeasantMan

This is a rough draft of an email that I plan to send out the PeasantMan distro list.  I'm putting here first to see if anyone gets insulted by what is said.  If there are then I may revise it.  Let me know if it's a bit out of line.

Hello Peasant Class Citizens,

Vietnamese Royalty here during billable hours to brighten your pitiful little lives today.  Don't thank me, just work harder.

How's life as an every day commoner out in the rice paddies these days?  I'd come out there to visit you, but it's been a tad chilly this winter.  I hope you understand.  Life in the big castle isn't as glamorous as many in the communist media would lead you to believe.  I sleep, eat, and occasionally have to wear a sweater ... but it is what it is.  It could be worse.  I could be a peasant working for the man.

Anyway, I just wanted to drop you all a note to tell you that the Support Tuan Daily (STD) Movement for a Greater America have set a date for PeasantMan 2012.  It will be on the week prior to Mother's Day.  Please put it on your calendar.  For all of the mother haters out there ... that's Sunday May 6, 2012.  It will once again be at Lake Anna, Va.  I will follow up with an email in a few weeks to tell you when registration opens.  If you have any questions in the meantime, please feel free to drop me an email ... but I reserved the rights to just ignore you.  In other words, don't fill my inbox with stupid stuff.  I'm on billable hours ... in theory.

We've also gone high tech this year.  Why don't you visit our Facebook page ( and click the "like" button.  Put some positive comments about your experiences from last year on our wall so that future Peasants can get a flavor about our event.  We will be randomly giving away prizes this year to all those who have "liked" our page.  Yours truly will try to entertain you by posting his observations of the Peasant population on the Facebook page.  All of the greatest and latest info will be on there.  This event sold out last year within 24 hours, so we will give our Facebook fans a head start on the registration process.

I would also appreciate a bit of input from you guys.  Last year we gave out free PeasantMan pint glasses to all those in attendance.  The PeasantMan Council For No Equality would like to know what you would like as your free swag this year.  Below are a few ideas that we are discussing among ourselves.

A.  Collectible Tuan Bobble Head Doll
B.  PeasantMan Wine Glass
C.  PeasantMan Vibrator

We recognize that the American women among us already have one of the above items.  Thus, we need more options.  Please don't send me stupid ideas.  Our committee to handle stupid ideas have yet to reconvene. 

Chairman, Committee to Handle YOUR Dumb Ass Ideas