SUNDAY BIKE RIDE WITH THE VERTICAL SWIMMER
Star Date: Week 7
I got a Facebook message from one of our bikers from last week. Alejandro Escabar told me that he lost a testicle during last week's ride. First of all, you're Columbian. Get out of the family coco business. Secondly, that's what happens when you don't SPF your skin during a ride under the sun. Not sure why he told me that ... it's not like I have an extra one to spare.
Besides, I have my own problems. When I got home last week, I noticed that I had a rice paddie farmer's tan. I can no longer wear one of 'em Euro tri kits because of this. You're damn if you do, you're damn if you don't.
This week is the Columbian Sterilization Project ride. We will go 4x of the Columbia Tri course. If you plan on having children, do it before Sunday. After Sunday, you may be walking like you have an STD. What the heck am I saying? You're peasants ... you're a walking STD.
We will meet at 7:00 AM in the parking lot of the Columbia tri. Let's plan to park and meet as closed to the entrance gate as we can. This will make it easier for us to refuel after each lap. My cell number is 301-613-3972. Use it if you don't see me in the morning. I will try to be there by 6:45 AM. It's going to be a long day. I want to do 4x and have enough time to eat before those NTP savages eat up all of the food meant for Royalty.
The plan is to use a bathroom break after every loop. We will do a full nutrition refuel after the second loop. In other words, have enough fluids and nutrition on you for 50 miles. If you are not man enough to go 4 loops. Feel free to join us in the morning and do as few loops as you want.
The cue sheet is below.
SILVER SPRING EXPRESS TRAIN
The Silver Spring Express train willtake a week off to do the Columbia course. Unfortunately, this will allow the Squirrel Nation to reinforce their defenses ... but what are you going to do?
How do you treat a peasant's tan? I feel so dirty,