Thursday, April 21, 2011

Sunday Bike Ride Week 6

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SUNDAY BIKE RIDE WITH THE VERTICAL SWIMMER
Star Date:  Week 6
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Hello Hideous People,

Strong ride last week under blistering wind.  It's a good thing that my ability to streamline behind other cyclists is legendary.  That wind had no chance against a guy with my girlish figure tucked away behind a bunch of cyclists.

Special shoutout to Andrea Fava for making it out to our ride twice in a row.  Must be that time of month again.

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PRODUCT REVIEW
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The great people at High Cloud Foundation through their partnership with 2XU gave me a very nice free pair of 2XU compression socks.  They wanted me to wear them and write up a review on my blog.  Well, say no more.  Below is my review of the product.  I hope 2XU puts it on their web site.

I put on the 2XU compression socks immediately after our ride this past weekend.  The first thing that I noticed was that, with the socks on, my sperm count went through the roof.  The second thing that I noticed was that I suddenly developed a great urge to douche.  I don't know WTF they put in 'em socks but it can't be UCI legal.  Don't get me wrong.  It helped my recovery tremdously.  However, you know how judgemental American women are.  They won't understand why I have three cases of douche paraphernalia in my home.  They might think I'm Cambodian or something. 

Well, that's the cliff note version of my product review.  If you want the full unedited version, please send me $19.99.

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70 MILES
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We are taking a slight deviation from our normal route this weekend.  Study the map and don't lead me astray.  I'm too busy sucking wheels in the back to make sure you folks in the front make correct turns.

As a reminder, we clip at 8:00 AM.

http://www.mapmyride.com/route/us/dc/washington/490124707161621478
0.0   --    Home base
      R   Wisconsin
      L   Resevoir
2.6   BR  MacArthur Blvd
9.6   R   Persimmon Tree Rd
11.7  L   Oaklyn Dr
14.2  R   Falls, 189
15.1  L   (at light) River Rd, 190
23.3  R   (at T)  Seneca Rd, 112
26    L   (at T) Darnestown Rd, 28
29.3  BR   stay on Darnestown Rd, 28 
35    L    Beallsville Rd, 109
                  (becomes Elgin around mile 37)
37.4  R   Fisher Ave/Whitesferry Rd
37.4  QL  (quick left) W. Willard Rd
41.8  L   (at T) River Rd
46.8  R   to stay on River Rd, 190 (at Seneca)
55    R   (at light) Falls
57    L   (at T) MacArthur Blvd
68.8  BL  Resevoir Rd
69.6  R   (at T) Wisconsin

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SILVER SPRING EXPRESS TRAIN
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The Silver Spring Express train lost some passengers last week.  Apparently fried squirrel tail Saigon style isn't to their liking.  The way I look at it is that if God doesn't want us to eat squirrel tails, he wouldn't have given squirrel ... tails.  It's just an obvious line of thinking that few can really comprehend.

We will meet at picnic area #10 on Beach Drive at 7:20 AM with a departure time of 7:25 AM. 

I am not awesome.  I'm just a little bit better than you.
Tuan

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