SUNDAY BIKE RIDE WITH THE VERTICAL SWIMMER
Star Date: Week 11
Hello People who will never qualify for Kona,
We have an 80 miler this Sunday. My testicles just shrank 3 cm just thinking about that. I've got to start wearing a cup to the office more often ... but what are you going to do? You're damn if you do. You're damn if you don't.
We have another cat lady alert. According to my sources (Sarah Swigart), AJ Morrison is the mother of all cat ladies. Not sure what AJ did to Sarah for Sarah to send me a list of things that AJ does to garner this title. For all of the single ladies out there. If ANY of the below items pertain to you, there is no need to ask yourself why you're still single.
1. You grow living things in you office (plants, avocados, mice, etc)
2. You refer to any woman not wearing a bra as a skank
3. You wear a skirt/dress on top of another skirt/dress
4. You have a candle for every situation imaginable. Break up with a boyfriend? There is a candle for that. Your ex has a hot new hoochie girlfriend? There is a candle for that. A Vietnamese coming over to your home? Apparently there are 50 candles for that.
5. You knit
6. You have a friend named Sarah Swigart
I am now officially a sponsored athlete. My company is giving me some money to sponsor my Ironman Germany trip. They are also matching dollar for dollar any additional funds that I raise. If you love your mother, you will give me your money. For contributions, visit the below url.
DC TRIATHLON VOLUNTEERS
Carrie Campbell, a DCTri member, is a volunteer coordinator at the DCTriathlon. She needs your help. She current zero bike marshals for the bike course for the DC Triathlon in June. There will be a lot of women cyclists out there ... and you know how bad women are with directions.
Please drop Carrie an email if you can volunteer for the event.
Carrie Campbell <CarrieACampbell@gmail.com>;
We still meet at 8:00 AM this weekend. However, we'll move to 7:00 AM starting in June. For those who are about to bitch and whine about the new meeting time ... bite me!
80 Miler - Darnstown Rail Road Tracks
R Wisconsin Ave (@~0.0)
L Reservoir Rd (@~1.5)
R MacArthur Blvd (@~2.7)
R Falls Rd (@~14.6)
L River Rd (@~16.6)
R Travilah Rd (@~21.7)
L Turkey Foot Rd (@~23.9)
at Turkey Foot and Jones, straight on Jones (@~25)
L Darnestown Rd (Rte 28) (@~26.6)
R Dickerson Rd (@~39.2)
** turn around at the train tracks or gas station on your right hand side. They are about 100 yards apart(@~40.5). The train tracks are above you in the form of a bridge (i.e., not at street level)
L Darnestown Rd (@~41.5)
R Beallsville Rd (Rte 109) (@~44)
quick L W.Willard Rd (@~46.4)
L River Rd (@~50.9)
at Seneca intersection, R to stay on River (Rte 190) (@~56)
R Falls Rd (@~64.1)
L MacArthur Blvd (@~66.1)
L Reservoir Rd (@~77.5)
R Wisconsin Ave (@~78.4)
Home Base @80-ish
For the folks in my pace group and recommended for other pace groups:
Stop #1: Gas station at mile 15
Stop #2: Gas station at turnaround point (mile 40-ish)
Stop #3: Gas station #1 above mile (64-ish)
Stop #4: Base camp
More stops if requested along the way.
SILVER SPRING EXPRESS TRAIN
The Silver Spring Express Train has been infiltrated by the militant wing of the Squirrel Nation of Rock Creek. I'm afraid the war is spreading. I take full responsibility for that. I thought the world was ending on May 21th. As it turns out, the Squirrel Nation of Rock Creek was just screwing with me. Don't those bastards know that I'm not a vegetarian?
We will meet at picnic area #10 on Beach Drive at 7:20 AM with a departure time of 7:25 AM.
The world did not end,