Thursday, May 19, 2011

Week 10: Sunday Bike Ride with the Vertical Swimmer

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SUNDAY BIKE RIDE WITH THE VERTICAL SWIMMER
Star Date:  Week 10
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Hello Cat ladies,

I feel like I have done an extremely poor job of insulting women on our bike distro list this season.  It's time to turn the tide a little bit.  Did you know that there another cat lady on our bike distro list?  No, I'm not referring to Hillary Peasbody or Anna McGeehan who plaster their bathrooms with so many candles that no straight dude can feel comfortable entering it.  No, I'm not talking about Lauren Trocchio who only dates guys with one testicles.  We've already talked about those future cat ladies.

This week we shall talk about a CURRENT cat lady.  Meet Beth Durma, cat lady extraodinaire.  How do I know that she's a current lady?  What normal woman takes a picture of an avocado and post it on facebook every other day?  The worst part is, she thinks it's normal.  Why do people friend me on facebook and do things like this?  What have I done to piss off the gods?

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BIKE NAME
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I have decided to name my new bike.  You all shall now call it the Vomahawk.  It's named after the Tomahawk cruise missile, a destroyer with the radar signature of a bumble bee.  The Vomahawk on the other hand has a radar signature of a Vietnamese and powered by Vietnamese diesel.  If it can get off of the ground ... well, let's not talk hypothetical.

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PEASANT MAN PICTURES
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Below is the text that I sent out to all PeasantMan athletes and volunteers.  For those who weren't there and would like to see those pictures, here is your chance.
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You call can now stop driving by my house at all hours of the day.  I get it.  You want to see PeasantMan pictures and you want to know where your sweater wearing dog is.  I can only grant you one wish ... below are the PeasantMan pictures.

You will notice that when you click on the URL, a page comes up that doesn't remotely look like pictures.  Your first reaction will be WTF!?!  It's the Nigerian Lottery all over again.  Fear not people.  Just create an account and you will have full access to all of the pictures.  By creating the account, you promised to follow Vietnamese copy rights law.  That is, download them free at will and give people the funny look when they mention the phrase "copy rights law."

There were about 2,000 pictures taken.  These include s/b/r pictures as well as all festivities pictures.  If you aren't in any of them, stop using spandex cloaking technology during a race.  The last URL below is a link to all of the 2,000 pictures.  The first 6 URLs are small subset samplings.
Pre-Race and Swim:    http://highcloud.ning.com/photo/albums/peasant-man-prerace-swim

Swim exit:  http://highcloud.ning.com/photo/albums/peasant-man-swim-exit

Bike / Run#1  http://highcloud.ning.com/photo/albums/peasant-man-bike-run-1

Bike / Run#2:  http://highcloud.ning.com/photo/albums/peasant-man-bike-run-2

Finish line#1:  http://highcloud.ning.com/photo/albums/peasant-man-finish-line-1

Finish Line#2 and Post race: http://highcloud.ning.com/photo/albums/peasant-man-finish-line-2

Complete set: http://highcloud.ning.com/photo

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CUE SHEET
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Ride still starts at 8:00 AM.  The Ed Moser rule is still in effect.  If you show up at 8:01, the only person that you will see there is Ed Moser.

70 Miles - South Glenn
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http://www.mapmyride.com/route/us/dc/washington/396124943312596987
R Wisconsin (0.0)
L Resevoir Rd (@~0.5)
R MacArthur Blvd (@~1.5)
R Falls Rd (Rte 189) (@~12.6)
L S. Glen (@~15.4)
R Glen Mill Rd (@~17.1)
  R to stay on Glen Mill Rd at T(@~18.9)
  R to stay on Glen Mill Rd at T(@~19.8)
L Darnestown Rd. (Rte 28) (@~21.1)
L Beallsville Rd. (Rte 109) (@~36.3)
  becomes Elgin
R Fisher Ave (Rte 107) (@~38.7)
quick L W. Willard Rd.
L River Rd (@~43.2)
  R to stay on River (Rte 190) at Seneca (@~48.2)
R Falls Rd (@~56.1)
L MacArthur Blvd (@~58.3)
L Resevoir Rd (@~69.5)
R Wisconsin Ave (@~70.4)

REST STOPS
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For the folks in my pace group and recommended for other pace groups:
Stop #1:  Gas station at mile 15
Stop #2:  Gas station at Darnstown/Bealsville (mile 36-ish)
Stop #3:  Gas station #1 above mile (58-ish)
Stop #4:  Base camp

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SILVER SPRING EXPRESS TRAIN
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The Vomahawk will come out to play with the Silver Spring Express Train this Sunday.  Squirrel Nation of Rock Creek ... you're screwed.

We will meet at picnic area #10 on Beach Drive at 7:20 AM with a departure time of 7:25 AM. 

Tuan

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